All I'll Ever Be
by kimbuhlay
Summary: AU/AH. Damon Salvatore is everything Elena ever dreamed of, but he's also her older sister's best friend, and she knows he'll never see her the way she wants him to. However, that doesn't stop her from falling for him anyway…
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: well. It's been a while, hasn't it? Unfortunately, life got in the way (and I also seem to have commitment issues where I keep having ideas for new stories and never finishing them). Hopefully my writer's block will evaporate and I'll be able to get back to work on my three existing stories soon. **

**Luckily for you guys, this one is almost completely finished, save a few final adjustments and additions. So here we go! This story is loosely based on my personal experience, adding a bit of drama and chemistry to make it vaguely interesting and less pathetic (hopefully). So if anything seems a little OOC, it's probably because my characters have been inspired by actual people.**

**I may not have been writing but I've been doing a little bit of beta-reading for the lovely Ina (Dreamspheres), who is a brilliant writer and beautiful person, so you should definitely check out her work. I've also had the wonderful privilege of meeting DE fanfiction royalty, Michelle (LoveEpicLove), in person for lunch and coffee today, after getting to work with (see: relentlessly harass) her all week on her latest chapter of Kiss Me, Break My Heart. You should definitely be reading these talented authors' stories if you're not already. **

**Finally, I'd like to thank everyone who helped with this story - my pre-readers: Ina, Nadia, Jess and Maryam; Cher (Cher Sue), for her endless encouragement and support; and Jess and Lucy, for being my 'smut consultants' ;) **

**Without further ado, here is the first chapter of All I'll Ever Be!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

* * *

**_November 2007_**

"Wow, Kat. You look amazing."

My sister applies a final coat of lip gloss and flashes a perfect smile at me in the mirror, flicking her shiny dark brown curls over one shoulder.

"Thanks, midge. Do you want me to straighten your hair for you?"

I nod shyly. I'm only thirteen, and it's the first time I'm ever going to a real, 'grown-up' party and I want to look the part. Katherine stands before me in sky-high pumps and a short, tight strapless dress that shows off her delicate collarbone and killer legs, looking every bit the eighteen-year-old princess she is.

And me?

I'm just little Elena Gilbert. Long, flat brown hair, black-rimmed glasses with little flowers on the side and shiny silver braces, meaning I avoid smiling as much as possible. Katherine likes to call me 'titanium-teeth', and I loathe it. My dress is simple – cornflower blue with a white belt at the waist, flaring out slightly to just above my knee. Aunt Jenna picked it out for me; there's no way my mother would have agreed to it, nor would she have agreed to the white slingback heels: only two inches high, mind you, but still very much against my mother's 'dress appropriately' policy.

Katherine pulls the elastic out of my hair and begins to section off chunks of hair before smoothing them out with the straightener. The one thing I like about my appearance is my hair – Katherine's got the whole effortless, natural waves thing going on, but I've always been proud of my straight waist-length tresses. She finishes her work and then whips out her makeup bag with a conspiratorial wink.

"Mom says no makeup."

"She'll never know; she's out of the country, remember?"

Katherine takes her bottom lip in her teeth as she carefully applies the finishing touches to my makeover.

"There. You look great."

I gaze at myself in astonishment in the mirror. I look like a completely different person, just as long as I keep my lips firmly closed.

My little pink flip phone buzzes and I glance at it.

"Caroline's nearly here. Are you ready to go?"

Katherine nodded, ducking out of the bathroom we shared into her adjacent bedroom to grab her clutch purse.

The ride to the party is short. Jenna and her husband Ric have been preparing Katherine's birthday celebration all day, so my best friend's mother had offered us a ride. Caroline is invited to the party to keep me company, as I'm painfully shy and don't know many of Katherine's friends.

We jump out of the car outside the hotel.

"Thanks, Liz," I smile at my surrogate mother. Caroline and I have known each other for so long that we're a part of each other's families.

"You look beautiful, Elena. Your dad would be proud."

I push away the tears that threaten my eyes and follow Caroline to the entrance. Katherine flounces inside and is greeted by a cacophony of voices, all eager to wish her a happy birthday. I still fail to see how she ended up with the popular gene while I'm the complete polar opposite, avoiding social interaction unless it's absolutely necessary.

The party is great. Caroline looks gorgeous as usual. She's already starting to grow up in more ways than one; I swear she shot up four feet last summer and in her silver stilettos she's almost as tall as my sister. She has also started wearing a push-up bra, gossiping about boys whenever she can and dressing in plunging necklines and short skirts. Tonight, she's wearing a dark red bodycon dress with the sides cut out, and her hair is swept up off her long neck. She fits right in with Katherine's crowd and I can see her sharp blue eyes assessing every male in the room as he passes, but I wouldn't have her any other way.

The food is delicious too, although I run to the bathroom frequently to ensure there's nothing trapped in my train tracks. The cake is Katherine's and my mutual favorite – chocolate marble with hazelnut ganâche.

Then it gets to the speeches. Our elder stepbrother Jeremy and I stand next to a long line of Katherine's friends. Lexi, Katherine's best friend, starts the ball rolling with tales of underage drunken escapades and blatant rule-breaking, things my mother would no doubt frown upon if she'd been here; Jenna just grins because Katherine is exactly like her. Then it's our turn; Jeremy shares a few embarrassing stories about Katherine's childhood and I wrap it up with a timid, sweet speech about my sister and I not always seeing eye to eye, but always being there for each other in times of need. Katherine by this time has consumed copious amounts of alcohol, so she gives me a big hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Finally, Katherine's friends from work begin to speak, led by her latest boyfriend, Elijah, and one guy in particular catches my eye. He smiles and laughs with the others, his piercing blue eyes sparkling with mirth as an older blonde girl recounts the time Katherine slapped a sleazy old customer who'd tried to cop a feel. He looks about sixteen with his tousled raven hair and pale blue shirt with the top two buttons undone, and I'm completely distracted as everyone toasts my sister and throws back the last of their drinks before the music starts up again.

Caroline, eagle-eyed and intuitive, instantly drags me to the gray couch in the corner of the room.

"What was _that_, Elena Marie Gilbert?" She demands, stressing every syllable of my name.

"What was what?" I deadpan, but she's having none of it.

"Oh, I don't know, just my best friend practically drooling over an unnamed, ridiculously attractive stranger when she's never shown the slightest bit of interest in any guy before now?" Caroline's voice rises in pitch to equal her obvious excitement.

"Shut up, Care. I wasn't drooling over anybody."

She gives me a thin-lipped, I-know-everything type look but doesn't push the issue any further. The night is nearing a close, at least for the two younger guests at this party, and she pulls me onto the dance floor to fit in another song or two before her mom picks us up.

It's now ten minutes to midnight, and Caroline's disappeared to the bathroom to freshen up. She's sneakily had a drink or six from the punchbowl throughout the evening and doesn't need to provide her police officer mother with another reason to keep her home on a Saturday night.

I'm attempting to blend into the couch when blue-eyes glances my way, smirks, and saunters over, sitting down next to me.

"So _you're_ Katherine's sister. You look older than thirteen."

I blush tomato-red under his gaze, unable to think of a witty reply.

"She loves you a lot, you know. Sometimes it may not seem like it, but she really has a soft spot for you, especially when your mom's not around."

"Does she talk about our family a lot?"

The stranger shakes his head. "I've known her a while now, and she gets pretty tense around the topic. She talks about you but otherwise it's like pulling teeth. I didn't even know she had a stepbrother until tonight."

I nod slowly. "It's not Jeremy, it's his dad that she doesn't like mentioning."

"Family's complicated for you Gilberts, huh? I know that feeling."

I nod in response and then stare at my hands awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"Where's your friend?"

"Bathroom. We're leaving soon."

"Damn. Have you had fun?"

I smile properly for the first time all night. "Yeah, it's been great."

"That's good. You know, you should smile more often. You have a really pretty smile."

"Thanks," I stammer shyly. I can feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment, and I'm thoroughly relieved when Caroline returns, makeup reapplied, hair redone, looking demure and collected as ever.

"Ready to go?" She enquires, lifting one perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. I nod hastily and jump to my feet.

"It was fun talking to you…" I trail off, not knowing my handsome stranger's name.

"Damon," he supplies with a smile.

"Damon," I repeat. "I'm Elena. Have fun at the rest of the party."

"See you around, Elena."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! ~ Kim**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey, all. I promised a few of you I would update yesterday but unfortunately when I went to upload it, I couldn't access FFN (my parents lock me out of my internet at night in an attempt to make me go to sleep earlier, haha). So I had to wait to get home from work tonight to get this out.**

**I don't really have much to say about this, other than to draw your attention to the fact that there has been a significant time jump - I think there's a gap between every chapter. Thanks again to my pre-readers and also to my reviewers; I'm so grateful you took the time to share your feedback with me.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

* * *

**_May 2010_**

I think this is possibly one of the most nerve-racking experiences of my life. Ric told me that I was pretty much guaranteed a job at Fells', seeing as he's the store manager and Katherine's worked here for years, but that doesn't mean I'm any less anxious about finding out the result of my job interview. The operations manager, Bree, called me this morning to ask if I'd come in to see her, so here I am.

I walk through the department store, keeping my head down. I look a lot more like Katherine since I finally had my growth spurt in April, and I don't really feel like being recognized yet. I'm wearing a crisp white blouse and black pencil skirt in an attempt to look suitably responsible, my long hair back in a French braid.

I stand outside reception and look blankly at the numbers on the door. Of course, Kat told me there was a keycode to get in. What did she say it was? Two-five-one-two? Or was it one-two-five-two?

"You look a little lost," a friendly voice calls out, and I turn in relief only to cringe as I recognize the intense blue eyes that have haunted me every so often in the last three years. "Hey, you're Baby Gilbert!"

I smile at the nickname. "Yeah, that's me. You're… Damon, right?" I ask, acting like I have to think hard to remember his name rather than it being printed on the forefront of my mind every time I see a tall guy with black hair.

"Yeah. Having some trouble with the keycode?" I can hear the smirk in his words and frown up at him.

"I tried but I can't remember exactly what Kat said."

"It's two-one-zero-five," he informs me, pressing the numbers as he says them. The door swings open with a click and he gestures for me to go inside. "After you."

I stand in reception while he leans over a computer, frowning and clicking a few times before he straightens up.

"What can I do for you, Baby Gilbert?"

"I'm here to see Bree about a position here…?"

"That's great! I'm sure you'll get it. I'll let her know you're here." He disappears down the stairs.

It's been two and a half years since the last time I saw him, though Katherine often mentions him in conversation and I hang onto every word, longing to know how he's doing. As far as I can glean from her discussions of bars and nightclubs and dinners, he's dated a few girls on and off but never anything serious. A small, childish part of me wonders briefly what it would be like to go on a date with Damon – he's grown up _very_ well and I'd be lying if I said he hadn't been the star of some of my steamier adolescent fantasies. _Thank God for Facebook photos, _I think to myself.

I'd also be curious to find out what Kat's told him about me over the years, and cringe when I think about all the embarrassing things from my childhood that she could have shared. They are best friends, after all; in fact, I'm surprised I haven't seen him around the house more often. I guess he must come over when I spend the night at Caroline's, and I make a mental note to be around more often from now on.

I wait another minute or two at reception before Bree calls me down to her office.

"Congratulations, Elena. You've got the job."

I beam at her, ecstatic. "When would you like me to start?"

"If you could be here on Monday and Tuesday after school for training, that would be great. We'll discuss your shift times after that, is that okay with you?"

I nod enthusiastically. "I can't wait. Thank you so much."

"My pleasure, Elena."

Monday rolls around and I can't wait for school to finish. Katherine is working tonight too, so she picks me up from school and drives us both to Fells'.

"Don't embarrass me, midge," she says sternly, suppressing a smile. The nickname has stuck for almost a decade, despite the fact that I'm a mere inch shorter than her now.

I watch a training DVD with two other girls and two boys that I've never seen before, and then Bree hands us a safety information booklet to read. As we're filling out answers to questions, I hear a clatter of footsteps down the stairs.

"Sorry; I'm so sorry!" A familiar voice squeals. A moment later, a blonde hurricane whirls in and lands with a thump in the chair next to me.

"You're late, Miss Forbes," Bree scolds, but she says it with a smile. I'm beginning to like her a lot.

"I know, I'm sorry; the buses are all running late today."

"She's right," one of the boys pipes up. He's small and sandy haired, with keen green eyes. "My bus was late too. I was lucky I was on an earlier one."

"Thank you, Stefan," Bree says. "It's fine, Caroline. Elena can catch you up."

"I didn't know you were applying here, I thought you were going for the waitress job at the Grill!" I hiss.  
Caroline stares at me, wide-eyed.

"I thought _you_ were going for the job at the Grill, and I knew I wouldn't have a chance against Miss Perfect Gilbert…" I elbow her playfully, secretly overjoyed to have my best friend by my side.

I'm sent to the cash registers with Caroline and the boy named Stefan, who seems just as shy as me. I'm not really surprised when I discover the person training us to serve on the registers is none other than Damon. He winks at Caroline, sending her into a fit of giggles, and smiles warmly at me. He barely even looks at Stefan, who keeps his eyes downcast.

"Okay, so the whole process is pretty simple. You scan everything and place it into bags, making sure the prices are scanning up correctly for each item…" He continues to explain and I focus carefully on everything he says, not wanting to miss a crucial piece of information, though I can't help getting lost in his eyes as he speaks.

"…isn't that right, Elena?"

"Huh?" I say, startled, and he smirks at me like he knew I wasn't paying attention.

"I said the most important thing is to smile and be open and friendly with the customers."

"Yeah, sure." I'm blushing fiercely, remembering our conversation at Kat's birthday.

"Okay, let's start putting the theory to practice…"

* * *

A few hours later, the store is closing and the last customers go through the registers.

"I'm exhausted!" I declare to Caroline, who groans in agreement. Damon laughs at us.

"That was nothing, girls. You should see how busy we get around Christmas time!"

We clock off at the machine downstairs and I wait patiently for Katherine.

"Are you right to get home, Baby Gilbert?"

I turn to see Damon, a look of concern on his face. Before I can answer him, Katherine appears around the corner, hand in hand with Elijah.

"We're going to the Grill for a late dinner," Katherine announces. "Come on, midge."

"I can drive her home," Damon jumps in, and Katherine smiles at him.

"You don't have to do that."

"No, it's okay. It's on my way, and she looks completely spent. It's really no problem."

Katherine looks expectantly at me, clearly wanting to have some alone time with her boyfriend, but inside I'm screaming for mercy. An entire car ride with the guy who has me tripping over my words and blushing like I did when I was thirteen! I'm acutely aware of an excited-looking Caroline by the door of the employee lounge, giving me a thumbs-up.

"Sure. Thanks, Damon," I say, and he smiles at me again.

I follow him out to his car, a sleek black Camaro.

"This is my baby," he says proudly. His expression darkens and I turn to see the cause of his change in demeanor – Stefan.

"And you've met my brother," Damon says in a clipped tone. "Well, half-brother."

I'm completely floored. Tall, dark, confident and sophisticated Damon is the brother of lanky, fair-haired, nervous and timid Stefan? I would never have picked it.

I remember what Damon said the first time I met him about having a complicated family, and I hold my tongue. Obviously these two don't get along nearly as well as I do with my siblings.

Damon chats amicably about work to me and I do my best to smile and laugh without seeming like an idiot, while Stefan broods in the back in silence. We stop at a house a few streets from mine and he gets out, muttering a soft 'thank you' before he slams the door. I look at Damon questioningly.

"He's staying at his mom's." He offers nothing more and we continue the drive to my house while I search desperately for a different topic.

We pull up in my driveway and I pick up my purse, ready to leap from the car as soon as it's stationary.

"You know, you really do have a beautiful smile, Baby Gilbert."

"Even without the bedazzling headgear?" I quip, mentally high fiving myself for my quick wit. He laughs.

"With or without."

I can't help the huge grin I give him as I get out of the car. "Thanks for the ride, Damon."

"Any time. See you tomorrow, Elena."

"I look forward to it." The suggestive words are out before I can stop them and I almost gasp, mortified. He winks at me and reverses out of the driveway, disappearing into the night.

What in _hell_ have I gotten myself into?

* * *

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated! ~ Kim**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi, everyone! I was going to upload this yesterday but I didn't want to risk it as FFN was having some problems with uploads. I'm also sorry I haven't replied to any reviews yet, but I'll get to them next if my internet doesn't shut off on me. I've made a minor addition to this chapter since my first draft on the advice of a pre-reader, so I'd like to thank Nadia in particular for her input into this one. Also, thank you to all who've reviewed, followed and favourited; it really means a lot.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

* * *

**_September 2010_**

I'm working three days a week now: Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays. Monday is by far my favorite, because _he_ works every Monday like clockwork, although I was disappointed to find out that after my first two weeks I'd been moved to work on the sales floor instead of the cash registers. On Thursdays he finishes two hours after I start, and he doesn't work at all on Sundays, which is disappointing.

It doesn't take Caroline very long to work out why I'm so eager to go to work each Monday. She works in the cosmetics section now – I wasn't surprised at that one. I've also noticed that there's someone at work who's caught her eye, but she refuses to tell me who. I suspect it's the hot, well-muscled guy, Tyler, who works in the sound department with all the TVs and tech stuff.

_His_ name is banned inside my house, because I know the second my aunt or Katherine get wind of it, I'll never hear the end of it. I think Katherine would freak out if she knew I was crushing on one of her friends.

On Labor Day weekend, Katherine and Elijah go to his family's beach house in Miami – he's completely loaded. Ric takes my aunt to meet his parents in Atlanta and asks me if I want to go with, but I have to work at Fells'. I figure I'll just take the bus to and from work on Monday.

Caroline stays over on the Saturday night and we have the house to ourselves. It's been a while since we've had a chance to have a girls' night, so we watch romantic comedies and eat popcorn and gossip well into the early hours of the morning. I spend Sunday reading Shakespeare's _Hamlet_, which we're studying in English this year, and making sure I've got all my books organized, ready to start school later on in the week.

On Monday morning, my phone rings and it's not a number I recognize. Perplexed and still shaking the remnants of sleep from my mind, I answer on the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Elena?"

"Speaking."

"It's Damon. You know, from work." Of course I know. A tremor runs involuntarily through my body as I recognize his voice.

"Hi," I stammer.

"Katherine told me you were home by yourself this weekend. What time do you start work today?"

"Um, one-thirty."

"Did you need a ride? I start at one-forty-five so I can pick you up if you like."

My heart misses a beat as I absorb this offer. "Sure, I mean, if that's not inconvenient for you or anything." I mentally kick myself for sounding so shaky and breathless.

"It's not a problem, really. Hey, how about I pick you up earlier and we can grab some lunch at the Grill? I'm sure you're sick of living on microwave meals all weekend."

"I can cook!" I laugh indignantly.

"Not from what Katherine tells me," he teases. "The fettuccine incident?"

"That was one time!"

"I'm sure the fire department is just as confident in your cooking skills. Now come on, Grill or not?"

My heart flutters a little and a smile spreads across my face. "Sure, that sounds great."

"I'll be at your place at midday?"

"See you then."

I fight the urge to squeal with delight when I hang up the phone and race into the bathroom to shower. I have exactly two hours and forty-seven minutes until the guy of my dreams is on my doorstep to take me out for lunch.

* * *

Two hours and forty-three minutes later, I'm waiting impatiently by the front door. I'm wearing my work uniform – I realized it would be ridiculous for me to wear anything else and then change at work – but I've added a navy blue cardigan over the white shirt and black skirt ensemble. I've spent an hour trying to figure out what to do with my hair and decided on a fishtail braid to show off my tiny diamond earrings my aunt gave me for my sixteenth birthday. I've applied just enough makeup to make my eyes stand out, but still have it looking a little natural.

The doorbell rings and my heart leaps into my throat. I open it and he's standing there, looking just as drop-dead gorgeous as ever, his brilliant smile on his face.

"Hi," I say shyly.

"Hey, Baby Gilbert. Ready to go?"

He leans in, brushing his lips lightly against the soft skin of my cheek in greeting. I feel my face flood with colour as my heart soars, ignoring the rational part of my mind which is reminding me in a remarkably snide voice that it's a platonic gesture and he greets Katherine the same way. Instead, I'm lost in his scent and the faint burning sensation where he kissed me. _Rest in peace, Elena Gilbert._

I nod in response to his question and grab my purse and house keys, locking up as we leave and trying to conceal the fact that my hands are still trembling.

The ride to the Grill is short and Damon talks about college and asks me about what I'd like to do after high school. I tell him I haven't really thought about it, but truthfully, I think I'd like to be a writer. He tells me he's always wanted to work with children, so he's studying to become a teacher. The friendly, open conversation soothes my nerves and I feel more at ease around him – more like an equal than an infatuated teenager.

We arrive at the Grill and sit in a booth in the corner, facing each other. Damon orders a burger and fries and I follow suit. He grins at me.

"You hungry?"

I nod, slightly embarrassed, and consider taking it back and ordering a salad or something girlier for a date.

"It's good! I respect a girl with an appetite."

I smile gratefully, but then he says the words that send me spiraling into a pit of humiliation and shame.

"My girlfriend doesn't like burgers, can you believe that?"

I'm stunned into speechlessness and it takes me a moment to gather my wits enough to nod and take a sip of soda to cover my reaction. My mind is silent and my body is numb, and I can feel myself fighting back tears.

He continues to talk as if my entire world hasn't just crashed and burned around me, but I barely register a single word. When our food arrives, I excuse myself to the bathroom and almost run away from him.

I gaze at myself with disgust in the mirror. _How stupid are you, Elena? What the hell did you think was going to happen? Of course he has a girlfriend, and she's probably older and prettier and smarter than you. Get over it. You're just his best friend's little sister, that's all you'll ever be to him._

I'm proud of myself for not crying, and touch up my makeup quickly before I return to our table. He hasn't started on his burger yet.

"You didn't have to wait for me," I tell him, forcing the brightest smile I can manage.

"My mother taught me good table etiquette," he defends good-naturedly, but after a moment the smile leaves his face. I've never heard him talk about his family before.

"What's she like?" I ask, but I see the hollow look in his eyes and know I've made a mistake. "I'm sorry. That was rude of me."

"No, it's okay, Elena. You can ask."

"You don't have to-"

"My mother was beautiful in every way. She was the kindest, most generous, loving mother I could ever have wished for."

"Was?"

"She died when I was eleven. Breast cancer."

"I'm so sorry." My heart aches for him; I can see the pain in his eyes.

"My father left us when I was still a baby, so it was just me and my mom all those years. When she died, I went to live with dad and his second wife, Stefan's mother. It was hard for me to see how much my father cared for Stefan when he'd left me, which is how I became friends with your sister. We both knew what it was like to have a parent die and the other abandon us."

I nod, my mouth pressed in a thin line. It's common knowledge in Mystic Falls that Isobel Sommers prefers travelling the world over raising her children, leaving that responsibility to her younger sister, Jenna. After my father's death in a car accident when I was four, it was like she just stopped caring, spent a year married to Jeremy's dad Grayson and then took off to Paris once the money from the divorce settlement came through.

Damon reaches across the table and takes my hand.

"Are you okay?" His blue eyes are bright with concern. I don't even realize I'm crying until I see the teardrops fall onto the table. I pull my hand back from his and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I swallow hard and offer him a watery smile.

He tells me some good things he remembers about his mother. He tells me about the time they drove to New York on New Year's Eve because he wanted to see the ball drop in Times Square, even though it meant she'd have to drive all the way back at two in the morning because they couldn't afford accommodation in the city. He tells me about the time they went hiking and he tripped and sprained his ankle, so she carried him for the duration of the trip instead of turning back. He tells me about the time she took him to her favorite country singer's concert even though she'd started her chemotherapy that week and felt like absolute hell. By the time he's done, I've forgotten my tears, it's one-fifteen and it's time to leave for work.

Damon pays, refusing to accept the cash I hold out, and again I have to tell myself this isn't a date. I can't think of anything to say to break the awkward silence, so I sit in his car staring at my hands in my lap for the whole of the five-minute drive to work.

When he pulls up in the staff car park, I move to get straight out of the car, but he grabs my hand, startling me.

"Are you honestly okay, Elena? I'm sorry if I upset you by bringing all that up."

"No, it's okay, I'm fine." I force a smile at him but he still doesn't look satisfied.

"You sure? You can start a little later if you need a couple of minutes."

"No, seriously. I'm okay."

He squeezes my hand and I nearly faint as he gazes straight at me with those bright blue eyes.

"Thanks for the chat, Baby Gilbert." _Ah, so we're back to Baby Gilbert now_. "I haven't talked to anyone about that stuff in a long time, not since meeting Katherine."

I can't breathe; he's telling me things he hasn't even told his girlfriend; he's sharing those deep and meaningful conversations with _me_?

"Thanks for the ride, and for lunch," I manage to say, and he gives my hand one last squeeze before he lets it go.

We go up the stairs together and I can't stop myself from smiling shyly at him and giggling uncontrollably at whatever joke he makes.

A girl I know only by sight is standing as the door attendant. She's a little shorter than me, with dark blonde hair, and she saunters lazily across to us as we walk in.

"Hi, Andie," Damon greets her, and I'm not surprised he knows her name because he's the most popular staff member in the whole store.

What really surprises me is when Andie stretches up and places a heavy kiss directly on his lips, before tracing his jaw with her long, manicured finger.

"Hi," she murmurs, pulling him in for another kiss.

Inwardly, I'm screaming. I'm on the off-white tiled floor, beating it with my fists and crying out harsh sobs that mingle with the sound of my heart shattering. Outwardly, I stand patiently, if not awkwardly, keeping my face perfectly impassive.

After what seems like forever, they pull apart, and Damon remembers that I'm standing there.

"This is Katherine's sister, Elena," he says to Andie, and she turns her cool gaze on me. From what I know of her, she's distant, although not unfriendly, and her eyes brighten at the mention of my sister's name.

"I've seen you around, but it's nice to officially meet you," she purrs.

I'm a smart girl. Katherine often paid me in chores and old clothing to do her English and math homework for her, and I know how to interpret the given information and how to put two and two together. I steel myself for what is inevitable as he smiles warmly at her, then me.

"Baby Gilbert, this is Andie, my girlfriend."

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**Please leave a review! I really love hearing what you all think. Thanks so much for reading. ~ Kim**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi, guys! I'm sorry this is up a day or two later than expected; I had a crisis with my dog on Wednesday night and it was an awful (and expensive) couple of days while she was in the animal hospital recovering. And speaking of awful days, how horrific was 4x14?! I spent a good hour or so crying after just seeing the preview for next week; I don't think I'll be able to handle the actual episode.  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it means the world to me.  
Happy reading!**

* * *

**_March 2011_**

I've been sick with this awful flu for a week now, and I'm miserable.

I literally feel like I've been hit by a train: every bone in my body aches, my head pounds like somebody's beating on it with a mallet, my throat burns and rasps every time I open my mouth and I'm so unfocused and dizzy all the time that I can barely hold up a conversation.

I haven't been able to go to school and I've been frantically covering my shifts at work, because nobody wants Baby Gilbert showing up and coughing all over the customers. Caroline's been bringing me my homework, but I'm so congested and flaky that it's been useless to even try.

So, here I am one Saturday night, curled up in the fetal position on the sofa and wishing for my tastebuds to stop making every cup of lemon and honey tea taste like dishwater. It's Stefan's 17th birthday, and he's throwing a party, so naturally Caroline's abandoned her ailing best friend, most likely to dance and flirt with Tyler Lockwood all night. Jenna and Alaric have gone out too, but Katherine agreed to spend a night in with Elijah to keep an eye on me and make sure I don't choke to death on my own phlegm. Gross.

My fever has spiked a little; I know this because I'm wearing my most comfortable sweats, wrapped in a polar fleece blanket and my skin feels damp with perspiration, yet I'm still shivering. I cross my legs and chew on my pencil as I study my math textbook, but absorb nothing.

The doorbell chimes, and I glance towards the stairs. I wasn't aware we were expecting any guests tonight.

"Can you get that, midge?" Katherine calls from her bedroom. _She's probably ordered pizza or something_, I sigh to myself.

I unlock the door and swing it open, only to find the unavailable guy of my dreams waiting patiently on the doorstep.

"Hey, Baby Gilbert," he smirks at me, and if my cheeks weren't crimson already from my fever my blush would have been glaringly obvious. _Small favors_.

"Hi, Damon," I croak. I cringe inwardly at the god-awful sound that emits from my throat. Could this be any more embarrassing? I'm dressed like a homeless person looking half-dead while he gets to look just as flawless as ever.

He holds out a large silver thermos to me. "Kat told me you were sick."

"What's this?" I ask curiously, taking it and wrinkling my nose in confusion.

"Homemade chicken soup. My mom always made it for me when I was sick; I swear it works miracles."

"You made it?" I ask incredulously, opening the lid and sniffing the contents. My sense of smell is only just beginning to return, but this smells _heavenly_.

"Of course. Don't look at it like I've poisoned it; _Christ_, Elena."

I return to my position on the couch with the blanket, hoping it might make me look a little less like a train wreck. No luck. "What are you doing here?"

"Baby brother is throwing his little party at our father's place so, naturally, I vacated the premises." Damon says, his expression a little sour. "Dad got the promotion in New York; I can't wait for him to move out. He'll leave me the boarding house and Stefan will go back to his mom's and I'll have peace and quiet again."

I hear Kat's footsteps down the stairs as I take a sip of the incredible soup. It's hot and soothing on my sandpaper throat, and it doesn't taste like the throat lozenges and cherry-flavored cough syrup that I've been living on. I notice that I've stopped shivering too.

"Hi, Damon," Kat says cheerfully, sauntering into the room. "How are you feeling, midge?"

"Like shit," I mutter, and Damon laughs.

"What are you studying?" He asks, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Math," I groan, and he looks over my shoulder at the mess of algebra on the page. "Everything's just sort of melting together, but Mr Carpenter is going to give us a test next week and I'm already behind as it is."

"Ugh, I remember that guy," Damon sighs, rolling his eyes. "He just talks and talks and talks and he doesn't care if you understand or not. I swear, half the time he didn't even know the answers to our questions."

"Maybe you should try that history paper for Ric's class?" Katherine suggests. "You're much better at history anyway; it might be easier for you to focus."

I nod, flipping my math book closed and picking up my binder. I highly doubt that a change of topic is going to improve my academic ability right now, but I'm sick of all those _x_'s and _y_'s and cosines and derivatives and if I have to measure one more angle in radians I might just scream.

"Good luck studying," Damon smiles sympathetically at me, before following Katherine back upstairs to Elijah.

I sit and drink my soup and stare at the blank page for a while, but nothing comes to me. By the time I glance up at the clock on the wall, it's past nine-thirty and I toss my schoolwork aside, ready to bury myself in a mindless rom-com.

The first scene of _27 Dresses _flashes on the screen. There's movement in the kitchen, but I figure Kat must have come down in search of snacks or something.

I'm startled, then, when Damon flops down next to me on the sofa with a bowl of buttery popcorn.

"What are we watching?" He asks, shoving a handful into his mouth.

"Chick-flick," I tell him, and he grimaces. "What brings you down to the room of the invalid and desperate?"

"Your sister and her boyfriend clearly needed some alone time, so I said I'd hang out with you and help you with your studying… what exactly are we studying?"

"James Marsden's face," I joke seamlessly. "It's an essential part of my coursework."

"I guess I'd prefer this to the makeout session going on upstairs at this moment…"

"Ew!" I shriek, shoving him in the chest and spilling popcorn all over us. He raises an eyebrow suggestively at me, smirking and devouring another handful of the snack, and I look back at the television awkwardly.

We continue to watch in comfortable silence, broken occasionally by the odd joke. As the final credits of the movie roll, I sigh dreamily.

"I _love_ weddings."

Damon doesn't respond, and for a moment I think he must have fallen asleep, but when I look at him he's sitting with an unreadable expression on his face.

"What, you don't?"

"I don't understand the point. All that money wasted on something that means nothing? Why bother?" His voice is bitter and I know there's more to the story.

"Marriage means something-"

"No, it doesn't."

I blink at him, waiting for him to elaborate. He regards me carefully for a moment, as if waging an inner battle within himself, before he concedes with a sigh.

"My father married my mother, but he left her with a kid to raise on her own. Then he married someone else, but he left her too in the end. What's the point of all that junk over a shitty little piece of paper that holds no weight? Just because some certificate said he was legally tied to my mother didn't make him stay."

I hear the deep, emotional scars in his voice and I feel his pain acutely. I can relate – a certificate that said Isobel was my mother didn't make her stay either. I can't stop myself from hating Damon's father, whom I've never met, for causing Damon to disbelieve something as important as marriage.

"So you'll never consider marriage?"

"Not likely," Damon says shortly.

"Not even," I swallow hard, "with Andie?"

He stares at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Baby Gilbert, Andie and I have only been together for eight months. It's too early to be thinking about any of that stuff." He smiles fondly at me for a moment. "Gosh, you're so innocent. You have a lot to learn, but it's endearing."

I flush slightly, but inwardly I'm relieved the topic moved away from marriage, because obviously Damon doesn't feel comfortable discussing it. Instead, we start talking about work, and Damon tells me a story about a customer who tried to steal a DVD player by hiding it inside a pillow they were purchasing. As he talks, my exhaustion starts to take over, and I fight to keep my eyes open.

He stops his recollection when I yawn widely.

"Bedtime," he orders, but I shake my head.

"My bedroom is next to Katherine's. I don't know about you, but I don't want to listen to whatever's going on in there while I'm trying to rest."

"Sleep here then," Damon suggests, putting one of the couch cushions in his lap and motioning for me to lie down. "I'll still be here a while longer, I'll just find some sport or something to watch on the television with the volume turned down."

"I really should do some more math homework…"

"Bullshit. You're not going to get anything done now. I'll tell you what: if you're still having trouble with it later in the week, I'll come over and help you, okay?"

I hesitate for a moment before nodding and lying down, stretching out my aching legs. Damon pulls the blanket up to my chin for me, and brushes my hair out of my face, placing his palm on my forehead. I smile tiredly up at him as my eyes flicker shut, dropping off almost immediately, but not before I hear his smug voice through the haze of sleep.

"Your temp is coming down. See? My chicken soup _does_ work miracles."

* * *

**Just a short one for now. Please review and let me know what you thought! ~ Kim**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi, everybody. Thanks so much for all the reviews you've been leaving; there aren't words to tell you how grateful I am for every single one! And it's so amazing to hear from all of you who have ever been in a situation similar to Elena's before. It's a powerful thing, to hear that people can relate to your work, so seriously, thank you.**

**I had one reviewer last chapter who inquired about POVs. I'd just like to make it clear that this whole story is written entirely from Elena's point of view, just to clear up any confusion.**

**Thanks again, lovely readers!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

* * *

**_August 2011_**

Matthew Donovan.

He's your typical fair-haired, all-American quarterback, and he's my boyfriend.

We started seeing each other over the summer, and he was great. He was sweet, and funny, and he said and did all the right things. He didn't mess with my head; he didn't confuse me with kisses on the cheek and flirty compliments and playfully calling me 'babe' when he's already got a girlfriend.

_No, I'm not letting my thoughts go there_.

Too late.

_He_ has gotten under my skin with all his knowing smirks and smoldering eyes. I know, however, that I'm not special – he acts this way with all of his female friends; it's just part of his charm. This rational train of thought doesn't prevent me from blushing scarlet red and stuttering whenever he turns that hypnotic gaze on me, and lately it's started to take me several minutes to remind myself that I'm spoken for.

If I'm honest with myself, though, I'm not entirely happy with Matt. On the surface, we should be perfect, but there's nothing to find when you look deeper.

I know he gets frustrated sometimes when he wants to go out and I choose to spend the night at home, studying. I've always been reserved– parties aren't my scene and Matt knows I don't like being around large crowds of people. I don't mind if he goes out without me; I just don't like that he makes me feel guilty for staying home, even though he says he doesn't mean to.

When we talk, he talks about playing football, watching football, or his job at the Grill. I patiently listen to him, responding with 'mmm' and 'yeah' when he pauses, but I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. If I talk about my job, or cheerleading, or my family, he completely zones out until I finish.

It's okay, though, because he's a pretty good kisser. I just wish that sometimes when we make out on my bed, my mind wouldn't conjure up a dark-haired, intoxicatingly-scented, smirking figure instead; no, it's _Matt's_ hands running over my skin, it's _Matt's_ lips on my neck.

We haven't yet gone all the way, but I know he wants to. He says he doesn't want to pressure me, but Caroline has a sharp ear for gossip and she's heard that his teammates have been giving him shit for dating a girl who won't put out. They argue that we've been together long enough and that we should have reached _that_ stage by now, but thankfully, Matt seemed to ignore them.

I'm lying on my bed with my abandoned biology textbook, lost in thought, when my phone buzzes.

"I need your help."

"Hi to you too, Care," I laugh at her lack of greeting.

"I need to go on a date with you."

"I'm flattered, but I already have a boyfriend."

"I can do without your sarcasm, Elena. God, you're just like Damon."

I ignore the way my body sings at the mention of his name. "What do you want me to do?"

"Can we have a double date tonight? I want to ask a guy out but I don't want to scare him off, so I thought that if you and Matt were there, it would make it less awkward and confronting?"

"I'll check with Matt, but it should be fine. Who's the guy?"

"He's, uhh…"

"Caroline, who's the guy?"

"Stefan Salvatore," she admits in a small voice.

I bite my lip uneasily. Damon and Stefan's relationship is strained at best, and out of loyalty to Damon I haven't spent much time around his brother.

"Look, I know you're close to Damon…"

"No, you know what? I'm in. I'm not Damon's girlfriend. He can't dictate who I can and can't spend time with. Stefan's a nice guy." I'm proud of myself, seeing this revelation as another step toward being over _him_.

"He is," Caroline agrees dreamily. "Thank you so much, Elena. You're the best. Meet outside the cinema at eight?"

"See you there."

I shoot Matt a text and he agrees to the movie night, promising to pick me up at seven for a quick dinner beforehand. Stefan doesn't go to school with us: he attends the private school on the other side of town, so I make Matt promise to be nice to him when they meet tonight.

We go to a cheap burger joint for dinner, and it irritates me when Matt orders for me. I'm wearing a simple dark floral print dress with black tights and a deep purple blazer against the cool chill in the air, so I feel overdressed and uncomfortable as a seedy-looking guy leers at me from the corner. In fact, everything about Matt and this night right now is wearing on my nerves.

He's ordered me a coke when I prefer lemonade, and although he remembered to ask them to hold the pickles on my burger, he ordered it without fries. I heave a resigned sigh and choose to overlook it for the sake of Caroline – I don't want to be in a fight with Matt during her first date with Stefan.

We drive in total silence to the cinema, where my best friend is standing nervously on the steps, looking as stunning as ever. She's wearing a dull pink blouse over a tight Aztec-print skirt with a black cardigan, and I can tell she's spent painstaking hours styling her hair into beautiful curls.

"He's not here yet," she whispers to me worriedly.

"He will be," I say reassuringly, and sure enough, within five minutes, he walks up with his hands in his pocket looking just as nervous as Caroline. I don't think I've been paying enough attention over the last year or so, because suddenly Stefan's a good foot taller, a little more muscular, and he's actually worked out how to dress himself competently. _So Caroline's attraction to him makes a little more sense now,_ I think, restraining a giggle.

"You look beautiful," I hear him say softly to her as he pecks her on the cheek, and when she blushes I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of jealousy because Matt has never called me beautiful.

We decide to see the newest action movie, rather than putting the boys through the pain of a romantic comedy. Caroline and Stefan start holding hands ten minutes in, and when a sudden explosion causes all of us to jump, she ends up half in his lap. Matt sits impassively by my side, but at least when I reach for his hand he holds mine, absently brushing his thumb over my skin.

When the movie is over, Caroline quietly thanks me before dragging Stefan out to an ice cream place. Matt looks at me expectantly.

"Want to come back to my place?"

I agree, solely because it's the first real sign of interest he's shown in me tonight. I don't know how he can be so distant all the time. We drive back to his house and go up to his room after a quick hello to his mother, and end up lying on the bed watching the late news report.

After a story about an elderly woman who fought off a burglar in her home, Matt rolls over to face me and pulls me closer. I allow him to kiss me, and it quickly becomes more heated. I close my eyes, trying to ignore how wrong this feels, but they flick open again as the intense gaze of a different man appears behind my lids.

Matt reaches around my back to unzip my dress, but I pull away, panting heavily.

"Not tonight," I say, caressing his face when I see his look of disappointment.

"Elena," he groans. "We've waited so long already."

"And we can wait a little longer."

"Why? Why should we have to?"

I sit up fully, angered. "Because I want to, isn't that enough?"

He sits up beside me and sighs, thinking long and hard about something while I watch the weather report.

"We aren't working, are we?"

My heart sinks. "No, we aren't."

_So that's it_, I think to myself. _It's all over_. Or at least, it was, until Matt reluctantly breaks the silence with four words that break my heart.

"I slept with Rebekah."

"What?" No. No, he can't have. He _wouldn't_.

"I'm sorry! It was a mistake!"

"You can't just say you're _sorry_, it's not good enough." Furious tears spring to my eyes and I grab my jacket and purse, humiliated.

"Why are you so upset? We were breaking up anyway."

"Because you _cheated_ on me, Matt; how could you?"

"You _just_ admitted it! We don't work, Elena. We tried and it wasn't right. You never even told me you loved me, so don't go playing the victim like I was the love of your life!"

Later, I would reflect back on his words and hear the truth. He's right, I never loved him, and the only reason his infidelity hurt so much was because I longed for the feeling of being needed, wanted. But in this moment, I'm livid, and hurt, and embarrassed, so I slap him with all my strength and storm out into the night.

My sobs echo back at me as I walk down the street by the dim glow of a few semi-functional streetlights. Tears are falling thick and fast and the sleeve of my jacket is saturated and smeared with mascara. I flip out my phone, calling Katherine, but she doesn't answer. I try Elijah, but it goes straight to voicemail, and I know Jenna and Ric are hours out of town for Ric's friend's birthday.

I collapse on a bench by the bus stop, sniffling and coughing, and dial a number I know by heart.

"Hello?"

Relief washes over me at the sound of his voice.

"Damon? It's Elena." I can't restrain a sobbing gasp and he's immediately concerned.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"Can you come and pick me up?" I ask hesitantly. "But, if you're busy…"

"No, I'm coming now. Where are you?"

"I'm at the bus stop on Baker Avenue."

"I'll be there in five minutes," he says, and the call ends.

I'm shivering by now, so I pull my jacket tighter around myself and tuck my knees up to my chest, still crying hard. It begins to rain, and although I'm under the bus shelter, every odd gust of wind sends an icy shower in to drench me.

I hear Damon's car pull up and he gets out while it's still running, wrapping me into a tight hug as soon as he reaches me.

Wordlessly, he bundles me into the car and hands me his own jacket to warm myself up. The heating is blasting in my face and I begin to feel my fingers again, but the tears are showing no signs of ceasing.

"Elena, tell me what happened."

"Nothing," I murmur, embarrassed.

"Nothing? You're out in the rain at two in the morning crying your eyes out and I'm supposed to accept that there's nothing wrong?"

I don't answer him for the fifteen minutes it takes to drive home. We pull up outside, and he looks at the dark house in concern.

"There's nobody home; do you want me to come inside with you?"

I'm hesitant, but I agree anyway. "Okay."

Once we're settled inside on the couch, he wraps me in a blanket and gazes at me with concern.

"What were you doing out there?"

"Matt and I broke up." I dissolve into a fresh wave of tears, more out of shame than anything else.

He puts his arm comfortingly around me and I lean my head on his shoulder, taking a deep, shuddering breath.

"We went out tonight, and I went back to his place afterwards. We were… kissing," I choke, wondering why I'm spilling my guts to the guy I'm not yet over, "and then he started trying for, you know, more."

"Elena, did he force you?" Damon demands, tilting my chin up with his finger so I can look straight into his eyes, dark with rage like a storm-tossed sea.

"No, nothing like that," I assure him hurriedly. "I shot him down. When I did, he told me that he didn't think we were working out, and I agreed with him."

Damon relaxes instantly. "That doesn't sound so bad?"

"But then he tells me that he slept with Rebekah Mikaelson and blamed me for it."

Damon fires up again. "That filthy, worthless-"

"Stop, Damon."

"Elijah's sister? How could he?" Damon runs an agitated hand through his wet hair.

"I know."

"So he kicked you out in the rain?"

"I left. I had to get away."

He pulls me in for another hug. "I'm so sorry, Elena. He's a jerk."

"I know."

I crawl away from him again, resting my head on a cushion and sighing, allowing my eyes to flicker closed. I don't remember falling asleep, but I think I vaguely recall a light touch, barely there, a finger ghosting across my cheek as I walked the line between dreams and consciousness.

When I wake, he's gone, and the sun shines brightly through a gap in the curtains. I sit up, slightly disappointed both that I crashed on him and that he didn't stay.

My only consolation?

I'm still wearing his jacket, breathing in his comforting, exhilarating scent.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed chapter five! ~ Kim**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's another chapter; I've added an extra bit (a very small bit) that not even my pre-readers got to see, so I hope you'll like it!**

**Thank you for every review, follow, and favourite; every single one of you mean the world to me and I can't find the words to thank you enough.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

* * *

**_December 2011_**

Words cannot express how excited I am for work to be over tonight.

After a week of pleading voicemails and texts, our absentee mother agreed to let Katherine host a party at our lakehouse for New Year's. Luckily for me, Katherine agreed to let me accompany her and her friends for a weekend away, even if it's only because I'll be able to help clean up all the mess.

Regardless, I'm ecstatic to be heading off with a whole bunch of people I know from work. Kat let me ask Caroline as well, and she'd insisted on bringing Stefan, who she's been dating for the last four months. Of course, upon hearing this, Damon was furious and almost backed out, but I called him – Katherine asked me to; she even told me he has a _soft spot_ for me –and convinced him to give it a try, assuring him that we probably won't see a lot of Stefan and Caroline over the weekend.

So, here I am on Friday night, with five minutes until the store closes, staring impatiently at the clock. It's the night before New Year's Eve and a few of us are driving up to the lakehouse tonight before everyone else comes tomorrow. The eight of us – Katherine, Elijah, Damon, Andie, Caroline, Stefan, Lexi and I – are meeting up in the car park once Damon and I finish our shift.

I'm daydreaming about whatever the weekend has to offer so I jump when Damon makes the final announcement about the store closing. Once the last customer has left and every cash register has been counted, I go downstairs to clock off and grab my stuff.

I walk around the corner towards the staircase and almost collide with Damon, who's bracing himself against the wall with both hands, his eyes gazing blankly at the floor, breathing like he's just run a marathon.

"Are you okay?" I ask, tentatively reaching to touch his shoulder. What possibly could have happened in the two minutes since I last saw him that has made him so angry?

He turns away from me, but he's my friend and I'm not giving up so easily.

"Damon?"

"_What_?" His voice is harsh and he whirls back around, his eyes flashing with a violence I've never seen before. I recoil in fear and he instantly softens.

"I'm sorry, Elena," he says in a low, apologetic voice, reaching for my hands and squeezing them gently. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."

I take a deep breath, still trying to calm my heart rate. "What happened?"

"Just… my father. He makes me so angry sometimes…"

"What did he do?"

Damon smiles at me, but it's tinged with sadness. "It's not important," he assures me, brushing some loose strands of hair out of my face and tucking them behind my ear. "We'll both just try to forget about it, okay? I don't want to let him ruin my weekend."

He folds me into a tight hug, my tiny arms linking behind his back and my cheek pressed against his chest. We've embraced plenty of times before, but this feels different somehow: like he's telling me something without words but I haven't yet mastered the language; the message isn't quite crystal clear.

He pulls back to look at me again. "Come on. We'd better go; the others will be waiting."

We walk out to the meet-up point, and Damon starts chatting animatedly again like nothing happened.

"So, Baby Gilbert, have you ever been drunk before?" He asks with a smirk.

"Not drunk; tipsy, maybe," I laugh.

"What's your lakehouse like?"

"It's beautiful; an old, log cabin-style building with heaps of room for all of us, and the lake is pretty in any season. Although it's the best for swimming and boating, you should come up with us next summer!" The words escape me before I even realize what I've said, but he doesn't seem fazed.

"Sure; sounds awesome."

We greet the others; even Stefan and Damon manage a civil handshake. I grab my overnight bag out of Elijah's car – Kat brought it with all of her stuff – and turn to Caroline and Stefan. Kat and Elijah get into his car after catching up Damon on the directions.

"Ready to go?" I ask them, receiving nods in reply.

"You're riding with my brother?" Damon asks me suddenly, and I turn to him, wide-eyed and nodding wordlessly. "Ride with me. Andie's taking her own car, you know where we're going and I'm _positive_ you don't want to be in the backseat behind _these_ two," he smirks, pointing to a blushing Caroline and embarrassed-looking Stefan.

I accept, ignoring my best friend's tell-me-everything glare and sliding into the passenger seat as he loads my bags in the back.

We talk easily about nothing in particular for the first hour of our drive, and Damon pulls into a gas station to fill up. He returns from paying with two ice creams, passing me one with a wink.

"Choco-caramel honeycomb; my _favorite_," I exclaim, taking a huge bite and instantly regretting it as the brain-freeze hits me. Damon laughs at my misfortune before he does the exact same thing and I'm laughing and clutching my head and moaning all at the same time.

"Elena, wait…" he says seriously, stopping and staring me down with those beautiful blue eyes. My heart stops, wondering what's going on, and then he quickly jabs at me with his ice cream and smears choco-caramel honeycomb all over my cheeks and nose. I gasp with indignation and fling mine at him, and he turns his head just in time to cop the whole thing directly in his face.

He growls and lunges at me across the seat, tickling me and dripping ice cream until I beg for mercy. He then returns to the gas station store and buys some disposable napkins and two new ice creams, which we eat normally this time around.

"You've still got ice cream on your face," he smirks at me.

"So do you," I point out, reaching towards him with a napkin in hand. "Here…"

I wipe the last of the chocolate off his face, keenly aware of the sudden silence and the way his eyes seem to darken. I hold my breath as he returns the favor, wiping the last smudge from the tip of my nose before pressing a feather-light kiss to it. It happens so quickly that it's well and truly over before my brain can process it, and he just gives me his signature Salvatore smirk and restarts the car.

"Hey, Baby Gilbert?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. You know, for earlier, and for taking my mind off it. I'm having fun already."

My cheeks glow flaming red, and I'm glad he can't see it in the dark of the car. "You're welcome."

The rest of the drive is uneventful, except for one moment where I forget where I am and start singing along to a pop song on the radio. I only realize when I catch him staring at me, and I immediately blush and apologize.

"Don't be sorry, Elena. I didn't know you could sing!"

"I can't," I laugh, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear shyly.

"No, you're good! Keep going," he urges, so I do, and I keep singing along with even the god-awful, overplayed songs until we pull up in front of my lakehouse. The others are all standing around, having beaten us there after the ice cream detour. Katherine rushes up to me as I get out of the car.

"Why'd you guys take so long? We've been calling, we thought you got lost or something."

"Sorry, couldn't hear the phone over that racket Elena thinks is singing," Damon teases, and I shove him in the chest playfully.

"I'm sorry, which one of us was belting out their best rendition of Taylor Swift's 'You Belong With Me' in the wrong key?"

"That would be _both of us_," Damon says indignantly, prodding me with one long finger. "You're not entirely innocent in that, Baby Gilbert."

"At least I was in tune."

Lexi is the first to spot the chocolate stains on our usually pristine white work shirts.

"What is _that_?"

Damon and I take one look at each other and burst into hysterical laughter while the others continue to look perplexed. Neither of us can calm down long enough to explain, stopping for long, deep breaths before lapsing back into peals of wild mirth.

"Seriously, what happened?" Katherine asks, exchanging looks with Elijah.

Damon winks at me and we answer her question in unison.

"Choco-caramel honeycomb; _that's_ what happened."

* * *

That night, after we've all gone to bed, I lie awake for a while thinking about my evening with Damon. Maybe it's pathetic, but I know I'm still in love with him even after all the times I've tried to get over him, even after two years of unrequited infatuation, even after watching him with Andie and listening to the group of them discussing their sex lives. Stefan told me earlier why Damon was so upset: their father is getting remarried to a twenty-five year old woman he met in New York. I don't blame him for being angry.

I know it's childish of me, but I can't help touching the tip of my nose over and over where he kissed it – he's pecked my cheek before in greeting, and I die a thousand deaths every time, but this was different. It was just the two of us, having a totally carefree and fun moment together, _alone_.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear Stefan and Caroline, who are sharing the blow-up bed in my room, start passionately making out with nauseating sound effects.

"Is Elena asleep?" Stefan whispers, and Caroline giggles.

"No, Elena is not asleep," I say loudly, getting up, "and she is going to take her blanket and sleep on the couch to protect her innocence and pretend she doesn't know what's going on in the bedroom she's slept in since she was six."

They both laugh and apologize and I roll my eyes as I close the door behind me. I'm happy for Caroline, because she's finally found a guy that isn't a jerk and genuinely cares about her; I just don't need to bear witness to all of _that_ tonight.

I curl up on the couch in front of the fireplace, still exuding warmth even after the flames burned out. It's peaceful out here and I quickly fall asleep, dreaming of ice cream and leather car seats and bright blue eyes.

The nightmare is quick to take over, and I know it well. I'm six years old and cowering on the floor and my stepfather is standing over me with the leg from a broken chair. It's covered in blood – my blood, and Katherine's. He's drunk off his face and screaming because our mother left him, she left him and she's not coming back. He then morphs into Matt, calling me worthless, pathetic, a loser, unwanted, and striking me with his fists until stars burst behind my swollen eyelids. _This isn't real_, I tell myself, _Matt wouldn't hit me_… then I'm back in my stepfather's house, curled up next to Katherine who's been beaten unconscious and crying out for my mommy, crying out for my real daddy, and my heart is filling with dread as I hear the heavy stumbling footsteps returning…

"Elena!"

I'm jerked awake, thrashing as somebody tries to hold me down and suddenly two bright beacons of blue come into focus.

"Elena, it's me, Damon. You're okay, you're at your lakehouse, and you're safe."

It takes a full two minutes before my pounding heartbeat slows to a regular rate, and Damon is rubbing my back comfortingly the whole time.

"You're shaking," he murmurs, taking my ice-cold hands in his. I know I must look a real mess right now, in my sweats with bed-hair and tears streaming down my face. He passes me a tissue and a glass of water.

"Thanks," I say softly.

"Do you want to talk about it? Do you want me to get Katherine?"

I shake my head. "She doesn't need to know. It was just a nightmare."

"I figured. I came in here for water and heard you moving around. I thought you were awake but you started…"

"Crying?" I ask, embarrassed.

"Yeah, and you were calling out for your parents… was this a bad memory?" Damon asks hesitantly.

"I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure if it really happened, and I've never asked Kat because if it is real then I'm not sure she remembers either, and I wouldn't want to if I were her. But part of it, part of it I know was all in my head." I laugh bitterly. "I try not to come across as crazy."

"You're not crazy," Damon says earnestly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into him. "If anything's wrong, Elena, you know you can talk to me about it. I'll always be here for you, alright?"

I nod, sniffling, and he leans back into the couch, pulling me with him so I'm lying with my head on his chest. He alternates between rubbing my back and stroking my hair, a relaxing rhythm that sends me off into a dreamless sleep.

A couple of hours later, I slowly return to consciousness, not daring to move and find out if I'm still in Damon's arms.

"Damon?" My sister's voice hisses, and I feel him start awake beneath me.

"What? What's happening?"

"Care to tell me why my baby sister is sleeping in your embrace at five in the morning while your _girlfriend_ is asleep down the hall?"

"It's not what it looks like."

"Oh, isn't it?" Katherine snarls, her voice dripping with venom.

"No. She had a nightmare, a bad one, and I helped her through it."

"A nightmare?" Katherine's voice loses all its malice, and now she just sounds concerned. "She told me those stopped years ago."

"Well I walked in here and found her screaming like she was being tortured, so apparently they're back."

"Did she say what she was dreaming about?"

"No, but I heard it. She was crying for your parents, and saying your name, and whimpering 'no' and 'don't hurt me' over and over again. I asked her if it was a memory but she says she doesn't remember… Katherine, did someone hurt her?"

Katherine was silent for a moment.

"Katherine," Damon says warningly.

"Our stepfather," Katherine speaks icily and I know now that the events that occurred in my dream actually took place. "He went off the rails the day my mother left him."

"I'm sorry." Damon's voice is soft, filled with pain.

"I didn't think she remembered."

"Kat?" I hear Elijah's sleepy footsteps down the hallway. "What – Damon – _Elena_?"

"It's okay, babe," my sister tells him softly. "I'll fill you in. Damon, take her to our bedroom and stay with her until she wakes up. I don't want Andie to freak out finding you guys here like this."

I feel him move out from underneath me before his strong arms lift me up only to lay me down in the luxurious king bed. I notice the mattress sink beside me a little as Damon joins me, pulling me back into him until we're curled together as one. I can hardly believe what's happening to me as I feel his warm breaths on the back of my neck – I'm in bed, in the arms of the man I'm in love with; it's something I could not, before this moment, ever contemplate.

His breaths even out and I feel my consciousness slipping back into the beautiful haze of sleep.

* * *

**Fun fact: the 'choco-caramel honeycomb' ice cream from the car scene is actually an Australian ice cream called a 'Golden Gaytime' and the tagline is 'It's hard to have a Gaytime on your own'... I shit you not. They're actually delicious, and I really want one right now!**

**Thanks for reading; I'd love to hear what you thought! ~ Kim**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Wow, sorry. I've been a little slack these past few days and every time I've tried to come back to this fic I've put it off, knowing the alterations I'd have to make to it before I posted. I'll try not to make you guys wait too much longer in the future! There aren't many chapters of this story left, anyway... maybe four, once I rework the ending a little.**

**Nevertheless, hope you guys enjoy! Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and followed. I think there are over 150 people following this story... what a scary thought! I'd just like to take a moment to thank each and every one of you who decided my ramblings were worth reading. You guys are the best.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

* * *

**_New Year's Eve 2011_**

We spend the daylight hours of New Year's Eve drinking, talking and drinking some more. We make New Year's Resolutions – from spending less money on clothes for Caroline: "I'll limit myself to buying only three pairs of shoes a week… okay, maybe four" to drinking less on weekdays for Lexi: "Or at the very least, I'll do fewer shots" – and start to set up some of the decorations and prepare the party food.

Kat drags me down to the store with her to pick up ingredients for homemade pizzas, informing me that Damon promised to make the dough and pizza sauce from scratch. I carefully ensure my expression at hearing his name remains neutral and gives nothing away. For a moment I feel like Katherine is closely observing my reaction, but when I look at her she's comparing two different tinned tomato brands and I pass it off as lingering paranoia.

In the early afternoon, some of the other guests start showing up – Elijah's brothers Klaus, Finn and Kol, Finn's girlfriend Sage, Tyler, from work, Tyler's uncle Mason and two girls named April and Hayley who both work at Fells' as well. I'm a little overwhelmed by all the people, so I excuse myself for a nap, stating that I didn't sleep very well the previous night. Kat and Damon shoot me concerned glances and I give them both a reassuring smile that doesn't quite touch my eyes.

As I lie in bed waiting for sleep to take hold, it's impossible to avoid thinking about my brief conversation with Damon this morning. I'd awoken feeling the acute loss of his arms around me – he'd been sitting up, on his phone, and the slight buzz of it receiving a text had brought me back to reality.

"Morning," I'd murmured, not sure what else to say.

He'd looked over and smiled his heart-stopping smile. "Good morning, Baby Gilbert. Sleep okay?"

I'd nodded, yawning widely and stretching my limbs out one by one.

"What am I doing in here?" I'd asked, despite already knowing the answer.

"Katherine told me to bring you in here. I told her about your nightmare; she said it's happened before?"

I'd shrugged noncommittally, not ready to tell him about it. I couldn't help but notice the way he hadn't touched me, the way his eyes had seemed slightly distant, the way his voice had been a little less warm and comforting. It was stupid, of course. How could I expect him to behave like a caring, loving boyfriend when he wasn't?

_At least, he wasn't _mine_._

He'd told me the others were in the kitchen, making breakfast. I'd thanked him for looking after me. He'd left.

After quickly splashing some water on my face in Katherine and Elijah's bathroom, I'd followed him out and pretended that, despite the awkwardness of the last five minutes, I hadn't just spent a glorious couple of hours in bed with someone else's boyfriend.

At some point in my musings I drift off and when I wake, it's six-thirty and Caroline's standing over me in her underwear with a pair of jeans in one hand and a hair straightener in the other. It's a scary sight, but not one I'm unfamiliar with after all our years of friendship.

"Time to get ready to party!" She exclaims excitedly.

She hands me the jeans – they're black and completely skintight, the kind that Katherine wears and the kind that I've always maintained I didn't have the body to wear.

"You can _not_ be expecting _me_ to wear _these_."

"A new year means a new you, Elena! How can you expect," I cut her off with a death glare fit to wilt plants, "_him_ to see you as more than a friend if you don't dress the mouthwateringly sexy part?"

Caroline tosses me a deep blue sleeveless shirt, made of a light, flowing material with silver detail around the plunging neckline.

"Keep it; it's yours," she tells me. "That color is to die for with your skin tone."

She works her magic on my hair and makeup too, and picks out diamond stud earrings and a few bracelets to complement my outfit. Finally, she hands me some blue suede wedges that, once I slip them on, make my legs look insanely long.

"Jesus, Elena, why don't you dress like this every day?"

I'm almost unrecognisable in the mirror. I gape soundlessly at my reflection, whose stupefied face is completely wrong on this outfit that makes her look like she stepped straight out of a fashion magazine.

Caroline's wearing white jeans and a tight red top that flares out a little at the waist, and her medium-length blonde hair is done is soft, loose curls. We take a few stupid photos first, laughing together and striking cliché poses before we head out to join the party.

Music is blaring and the celebration is in full swing. Caroline introduces me to Trevor, Rose and Meredith, who arrived while I was sleeping, before I'm whisked away by Kol.

"You look hot," he murmurs quietly, his gaze travelling my body appreciatively. I feel uncomfortable but I tell myself that I should be pleased with the positive reaction my makeover seems to be inducing. He passes me a drink, some kind of fruity mixer that Katherine adores, and once I've downed it he drags me onto the dance floor.

A few of the others are dancing so I don't feel out of place, but I can feel eyes watching me and it takes me a minute to find the source. Damon's piercing gaze is fixed on me from the couch in the corner, where he's sitting with his arm around Andie while she chats with Hayley. Feeling reckless from the alcohol already tingling in my veins, I toss him a wink before turning back to Kol. I'm about to move closer to him, determined to get a rise out of Damon for reasons I'm not willing to admit to, but my sister's voice rings out above the noise.

"How about a drinking game?"

She's met with a cheer, and Kol reluctantly lets me go so we can take our seats at the table, fresh drinks in front of us.

"Suggestions?"

"How about 'Never Have I Ever'?" Lexi sings, and we all nod in answer to her.

"Okay," Katherine purrs, "but I'll have to warn you. I don't want to know the extent of my baby sister's escapades, so I'll try not to look, midge?"

"Who are you kidding, Kat? I'm going to win this game, I've never done a thing."

"I don't think not drinking equals winning, Baby Gilbert," Damon teases.

"It does when I'm the only one conscious for the fireworks at midnight," I smirk back at him, and I'm rapt when everyone else joins in with my laughter.

"Okay, I'll start," Caroline jumps in, her eyes gleaming. "Never have I ever… been arrested."

Mason sighs and takes a mouthful of his beer, but what catches my eye is Damon trying to sneakily take a drink without anyone noticing.

"Damon!" I say, my tone accusatory. "When did you get arrested?"

"It was a misunderstanding!" He whines, while everyone laughs and Andie gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"It was our first date, and we were driving home," she recounts. "Damon hadn't been drinking at all, but he got pulled up for a breath test anyway. It read positive, and they wanted to do another test at the police station, but Damon insisted he didn't need to because he hadn't even had a sip. I guess the officer had had a bad day or something, because the next thing I knew, he had my new boyfriend in handcuffs."

"I hadn't done anything wrong!" Damon cries, pretending to be wounded but his sparkling eyes give him away.

"Why'd it read positive then?" Finn asked, still laughing.

"Because Andie had been drinking, and we'd been making out before we left the parking lot at the restaurant," Damon sighed as the group burst into fresh waves of laughter. I ignore the stab in my gut at the mention of Damon and Andie kissing, and Caroline must notice because she presses for the next person to take their turn.

"Never have I ever had sex," Lexi grins, before proudly taking a gulp from her glass of wine. I look around the table and I'm the only person not drinking; even quiet, timid Stefan shoots a nervous look at his brother before sipping his beer.

The questions range from ridiculous – "Never have I ever been skiing in Switzerland," to which the four Mikaelson brothers take a drink, having been there last year – to prying – "Never have I ever had a one night stand." As predicted, I'm the least intoxicated as the game starts to draw to a close, with some of the others, including Andie, pulling out of the game and mumbling something incoherent about going in search of some food to sober them up. However, I've still had enough to make me feel pleasantly light-headed and giggly.

"Okay, okay, my turn," Rose says, thinking briefly. "Never have I ever… fantasized about somebody while in a relationship with someone else." I throw back the last of my drink, remembering my brief time with Matt and the relentless dreams about a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed guy.

I glance up at the star of my thoughts, and he's looking at his bottle thoughtfully before his gaze lifts to meet mine with an intensity that scorches me. The rest of the world melts away as he slowly, deliberately and unblinkingly takes a mouthful of his beer, his eyes never leaving mine.

I can't bring myself to accept the significance of this and I break eye contact first, pushing back from the table and declaring myself out of the game. In a flash, so quickly I'm not sure which one of us initiated it, I'm dancing with Kol again, his too-warm hands on my hips, on my chest, on my waist pulling me closer. I turn my back to him and dance recklessly, wildly; I'm grinding against him, feeling his hot breath by my ear and his left hand slide subtly under my shirt until his fingers are brushing the skin just above the waistline of my jeans. I suppress a shudder as he tries to move his hand lower – I grab his wrist warningly, but he shakes me off and tries again, his right arm wrapped around my waist to hold me still and his mouth biting and sucking painfully at my neck.

My whole body is alive with terror now; gone is the hazy, alcohol-infused state I was in before and now I'm struggling against him and wondering why nobody else can see what's going on, why nobody will come to my aid. I'm vaguely aware of the tears streaming freely from my eyes as his hand dips into my underwear, his fingers finding their destination…

Suddenly, the sensation is ripped away and I collapse to the ground, hugging myself and trying desperately not to be sick. I look up to see Damon holding Kol up by the collar of his shirt, slamming him once, twice into the wall and hissing into his face so viciously I can see the spit flying.

"She is _seventeen_ years old, you filthy piece of _shit_; how _dare_ you treat her like that?" Damon punctuates every stressed syllable with a violent shake, and Kol's alcohol-addled mind evidently begins to clear as he holds up his hands in surrender.

"Sorry, man, we were just dancing-"

"The _fuck_ you were."

Caroline is by my side now, anxiously trying to pull my to my feet but my legs are too shaky to stand, everything I had to drink finally taking its toll. Every guest at the party is now silent and staring, including one very confused Andie. Elijah steps forward, lightly touching Damon on the shoulder.

"Let him go. He's my brother, I'll deal with him."

Damon whirls around. "Did you see what he did to her?" His voice is savage, wild.

"_She_ was dancing with _me_," Kol protests. "She wanted it; look at the way she's _dressed_, for crying out loud-"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence because Damon's clenched right fist acquaints itself with Kol's face to the tune of an almighty crack. Finn jumps forward as his brother slumps to the ground, unconscious, and helps Elijah pull Damon back.

After this, everything becomes a blur for me. I'm aware of Katherine and Caroline quietly reassuring me and half-carrying, half-dragging me to my bedroom, changing me and tucking me into bed. Katherine curls up like a cat next to me and chats with Caroline in hushed voices as I slip in and out of consciousness.

When I wake my sister is still there, fast asleep and holding my hand. As I try to sit up, groaning and clutching my head, she stirs.

"Elena, how are you feeling?"

"Headache," I mumble, unable to form any coherent sentences in my present state. She passes me some aspirin and a glass of chilled water, studying my face carefully like she's trying to read my thoughts. I steel myself for the inevitable conversation.

"Is he still here?"

"Elijah took him home first thing this morning. Their dad is going to deal with it."

"What about everyone else?"

"Most people have already left. Lexi's our ride, and Care, Stef and Damon are still here too."

I nod and feel the tears spring to my eyes. "I'm sorry for ruining your party, Kat."

Her brown eyes widen and she shakes her head.

"No! No, midge, don't say that. Of course you didn't. What happened wasn't your fault." She pulls me closer to her and strokes my hair, like she used to when I was little.

"How is Damon?"

"He's fine." She doesn't offer any other information and I'm perfectly aware that I'm not in any place to be provided with it, so instead of asking all the questions bubbling inside my head, I tell her that I need to shower.

I fiercely scrub at my skin until it's raw under the scalding spray, finally letting the tears out and allowing the water to wash them away. I feel cheap, used and disgusting; my skin literally crawls as I unwillingly recall what it felt like when he touched me, when he held me as I struggled against him. After an hour, I switch off the water and slowly dress in a clean sweater and a faded pair of jeans, tucking my panties from the night before into the bottom of the trashcan and wishing I could burn them instead.

I walk out into the kitchen, dry-eyed and miraculously hangover-free, and five pairs of eyes watch with concern as I get myself a glass of apple juice.

"Stop staring at me like you're waiting for me to break," I say icily, and they all exchange looks before hesitantly returning to amicable conversation.

We spend the afternoon dancing around the subject of last night by unspoken agreement, cleaning up the remnants of the mess and preparing to leave.

When Katherine takes my bags out to Lexi's car, Damon corners me, his blue eyes as intense as ever.

"Can we talk?"

I can't do anything but nod, and he takes me by the hand and leads me into my bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him.

"Katherine asked me to leave you alone but I needed to make sure you're okay."

I remain silent.

"Talk to me, Elena."

"What is there to talk about?" I demand furiously. "How some drunk jerk – not just any jerk, my sister's boyfriend's _brother_ – touched me, forced himself on me? How you just swooped in to save the day? How you punched him like a jealous, overprotective boyfriend while your _actual_ girlfriend was standing right there? Or what about how you held me while I slept the night before last and how cold you were to me when I woke up, or that _look_ last night during the game? I loathe the way you always fuck with my feelings when I'm just an idiotic, naïve teenager who fell ungracefully, stupidly, irrationally and completely in love with you!"

The words are out before I can stop myself and I clap my hand over my mouth, hoping to every deity that he wasn't paying attention.

"_Elena_." He breathes my name reverently, as if he's saying his own prayers, and I can't bear to meet his eyes.

_Shit_.

"I know you're with Andie, and I know that you're my sister's best friend. I know that I'll only ever be Baby Gilbert to you, a kid, and that this is immature and wrong on so many levels, and that you'll never be able to see me the way I see you. But, _fuck_, you need to stop the flirting and staring and messing around because I can't think straight around you; I don't know how to deal with the mixed signals you're sending me, or maybe it's just all in my head, but I need a second to breathe, Damon."

I finally look up at him, breathing heavily like I've just run a race, and he stares back at me, unflinchingly.

"You're upset, and that's understandable, because you've been through a lot. I'm sorry for contributing to that."

His gaze is solemn and he waits for me to nod before he speaks again.

"I don't think you're ready to talk about all of this right now, okay? But I just need you to know that I don't see you as a little kid, Elena. I see you as my friend."

The pain of being friend-zoned is sharp and unwelcome, but I know this is how it has to be. If I'm being honest with myself, it hurt a lot less than it could have.

"Elena? Damon?"

The door swings open and Katherine cautiously sticks her head in.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I answer, trying to keep my voice light. She raises her eyebrows at Damon behind me.

"We were just talking."

"Ready to go?"

We both nod at her and follow her out to the cars. Caroline and Stefan thank Kat and I for the weekend, and Caroline promises to call me later tonight, giving me a fierce hug before she leaves. I'm waving to her as they drive away, but I don't miss the meaningful look exchanged between my sister and Damon. Evidently they had a disagreement while I was sleeping, because Katherine gets straight in the front seat of Lexi's BMW without another word to him.

"Thank you, Damon, for everything," I attempt lamely, and I'm a little startled when he gives me a hug, wrapping his warm arms around me, and I can't shake the feeling of safety that it brings. He steps back and looks me in the eyes, his hands on my shoulders.

"We'll talk soon, okay? Call me if you need me; I don't care what time it is."

I give him a watery smile, my eyes having filled with tears again.

As Lexi pulls out of the driveway and down the road, I watch the lakehouse disappear in the rearview mirror. I'd been so excited to visit it this weekend, but now I'm leaving it a completely different person, my life irrevocably changed.

I guess I really never could have predicted the drama that could unfold and the tears I would shed because of boys, adrenaline and a little bit too much booze.

* * *

**Fun fact (I'm full of them): The story about Damon's arrest actually happened to my older sister and her boyfriend on their first date, and she swore me to secrecy - i.e. never to tell our strict parents who would strongly disapprove - after the truth came out during our game of NHIE. So, apparently, it can happen. **

**I hope this was worth the wait! ~ Kim**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Surprise! After the last chapter, I passed the 100 review mark, and in return for that and also to make up for my delayed update, I decided to update today. Thanks so much, guys - this is a big milestone for me, and you have no idea how flattered and grateful I am for every word you've left me.**

**Enjoy this chapter - Elena's birthday, part one...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

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**_April 2012_**

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of the day when I'd become an adult. Some days, I wanted to be a doctor; others, a princess.

Today, I look in the mirror and I guess that second dream has come true.

It's my eighteenth birthday and my sister and best friend have spent the day playing professional stylist. My hair is styled glamorously in loose curls to one side, with an intricate network of curls and braids and little silver flowers woven into a gorgeous mess above the long, silky ponytail. My makeup is done in very subtle browns and slight golds to complement my skin tone, but my eyeliner is dark and my eyelashes have never looked longer, making my normally gentle brown eyes smolder like they're guarding a fiery secret.

My dress is made of silver sequins, just long enough to cover the important parts but definitely showing off as much of my long legs as possible: my best asset, or so Caroline tells me, enhancing them further with pale beige pumps. The material is tight enough to show off every curve in my newly-turned-adult body in the most flattering way possible. The sequins are asymmetrically spliced with an attached off-white sash – matching the shoes – and it twists around my body before tying at the back. It's by far the most daring, sexy outfit that conservative little Elena Gilbert has ever worn.

Caroline's in a cute strapless black and white number with royal blue heels, and Katherine's wearing a slinky crimson dress with a dark lip and stilettos making her look every bit the dangerous seductress she is. I briefly wonder how she possibly could have ended up engaged to somebody as sweet as Elijah, remembering how excited she was on Valentine's Day when he finally popped the question.

I recall one of my other childhood dreams: to grow up to be like Katherine. I can say I'm relieved this particular aspiration didn't come to pass; although I love Katherine dearly, and we could almost pass for twins, I'm happy to be my own person. I'm a little more outspoken, a little more spontaneous, but I'm still myself, after everything I've been through.

Jenna and Alaric have been preparing for the party all day, again hosting it at a function room. My family has pretty much handled all the preparations, so all I have to do is show up. I'm excited; with an hour to go until the celebrations kick off I'm pacing back and forth in my bedroom, trying very hard not to chew on my newly manicured nails.

"Hey, Elena?" I hear my sister's voice call tentatively from the hallway. Something in my stomach flips over uneasily, because Katherine is anything but tentative. She walks into the room, an envelope clasped in her hand.

"What's that?" I ask, already suspecting the answer.

"It arrived today. I looked at the return address; it's from Isobel."

We communicate wordlessly for a moment before I hesitantly take the letter from her.

"I know we haven't heard from her since your fight four months ago. I know you said last time that you wanted nothing to do with her anymore."

This is the truth. After realizing what I remembered during our trip to the lakehouse, the first thing I did when I got home was to confront my mother over the phone. She remained completely silent the whole time I called her out on abandoning us, on leaving us with our awful stepfather, on how she brought him into our lives only to let him hurt us. She cried, trying desperately to win me back with excuses, but I was a new person after that weekend away and I wouldn't hear any of her bullshit. I told her that she was an irrelevant part of my life, and that Katherine and Jenna and Ric and Liz Forbes had done a better job of raising me than she ever could. And then I told her I never wanted to speak to her again and hung up.

She didn't call again.

But now here I am on my eighteenth birthday, with a letter in my hands from the woman who made my life a living hell without really being part of it.

"She hasn't remembered my birthday in eight years," I murmur, slowly turning the envelope over as if it's not quite real.

"I'll leave you alone?" Katherine inquires, but I shake my head.

"Stay while I read it."

She understands, and sits on the edge of the bed with one leg crossed over the other, idly studying her smartphone but I know her attention is on me. With a heavy sigh, I tear open the letter and begin to read.

_Elena,_

_I don't know if you're going to read this, and I don't blame you if you don't, but I wanted to prove to myself that for once, I could do the right thing and try to begin to atone for my mistakes._

_My wonderful baby girl is eighteen years old today, and I'm sorry I can't be there to see it. You were right when you said I was no parent to you – I don't have any entitlement to be a part of your life, and I accept that you don't want me to be. They were words that I needed to hear, and I'm in awe of you for having the courage at your young age to say what you did, and for being a stronger person than I ever was._

_You were too young to remember much about your father, but before the accident, we were happy. When he died, a part of me died with him, and it's a part I can't get back._

_I was lost and I married Grayson in the hope that we could rebuild a broken family, but he only served to break us further. I couldn't take it anymore; I knew I had to leave. I knew I could no longer be to you and Katherine what you needed me to be, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't know that he would hurt you when I left; I didn't think, and that was wrong. I'm sorry that my mistake caused you physical harm._

_At the very least I'm grateful to my own sister for taking you in and raising you. When I visited, I saw how happy you were, how beautiful you were growing up to be, and I knew that you would be okay, that you would be better off. I have spent a lot of time since we last spoke with many different counselors to try and get me to a place where I can settle down, where I'm stable enough to reach out and hopefully establish a new relationship with you and your sister._

_I know you may not believe this, but I love you, Elena, and I'm proud of who you've become. I don't expect this letter to magically repair our shattered relationship; I recognize that it will take much, much more. The path to forgiveness is a long and complex one, but I hope that this can at least be the first step on our way._

_Happy birthday._

_Isobel_

The words are hard to absorb fully, but I don't know what to think. For a woman who could have taken the easy way out and counted our last argument as a final nail in the coffin, she seems sincere. I can't forget the pain she's caused; I doubt I ever will. But I don't think I'm the type of person who won't give anyone a second chance. Part of me hopes that, in time, perhaps I can reach out to our mother to repair the connection she never valued enough to protect. Not tomorrow, not next week, maybe not even for a few years, but someday.

I pass the paper to Katherine wordlessly and she reads it with narrowed eyes. I know she won't feel the way I do; she is unforgiving when it comes to our mother, having been old enough to vividly remember the accident and the mess in which she left us. I don't think I've ever truly appreciated Katherine before – I at least had little memory of our father's funeral, and hadn't known that the beatings I relived in my nightmares had been reality. She'd endured all that and more, as she had to care for me, as well. My sister was an unsung hero.

After this revelation, I fling myself on her for a hug as soon as she puts down the letter.

"Whoa, midge," she laughs softly. "What's this about?"

"Nothing. Just… you're kind of a great sister, did you know that?"

She smirks. "I know. You're not so bad yourself. Now let's get going; we've got a party to get to!"

* * *

By nine o'clock, the room is overflowing with people; in a town like Mystic Falls, everyone is your family friend. People I swear I've never seen before are coming up and starting conversations with me, claiming they remember me from when I was _this big_, and gushing about the young lady I've grown up to be. In between the swarms of people, however, I find myself scanning the room for a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed man who's yet to show.

Sure, I've seen him often at work, and at a few parties throughout the past few months. He didn't tell anybody about our conversation at the lakehouse, not even Andie or Katherine, because nobody has been treating me any differently. His twenty-first birthday came and went – being underage, I unfortunately couldn't go. I told myself it's better this way, for me to separate my life from his and find new friends, because otherwise I'm not sure I can ever shake him.

I still get that rush of butterflies in my stomach every time we work together, and I still stumble over my words and giggle too much at his jokes. The difference this time is that he notices and gives me long, searching looks that cause me to blush and look for a reason to walk away.

I've noticed lately that he and Katherine have been having some intense conversations that usually stop when I'm around. Things between them have been strained; Katherine didn't speak to him at all for a month after the incident on New Year's Eve, and even after that, somebody who knew them well could see that something had changed.

But the heated discussions in the staff room at work or on the phone late at night were something that had only popped up in the last week or two, and Katherine was still yet to fill me in. I find this unusual, because Katherine and I share everything.

The party continues, and I feel myself becoming pleasantly light-headed and less inhibited. I'm dancing with Caroline, lost in the music and finally feeling free, when I feel a light tap on my shoulder. The masculine scent hits my nose first, and my skin tingles where he touched it.

I turn, slowly, to meet his piercing gaze.

"Hi, you," he says softly, and his voice sends shivers – the good kind – down my spine.

"Hi, back," I reply uncertainly.

"Is there somewhere we can go to talk?"

I look toward the back corner, furthest from the music, but before I can answer him, Alaric is calling for the cake.

I take my place at the front of the room, pasting a bright, award-winning smile on my face while my friends and family sing to me, despite my confusion over Damon. I make eye contact with Katherine, who shakes her head at me almost imperceptibly. She's evidently not happy about the most recent arrival and again I wonder what's going on.

Caroline begins the speeches, and the crowd laughs with her as she retells some story or another. I'm too distracted by my sister dragging Damon away to pay much attention. I watch as she hisses at him, her hands flailing wildly to emphasize whatever she's saying.

I tune back into Caroline just in time to thank her for her speech, of which I haven't heard a word, and give her a hug.

"It's okay," she whispers in my ear.

"What?"

"That you were distracted. You need to talk to him, Elena." She kisses my cheek and steps back, handing the microphone to Jeremy, and Katherine appears beside me looking flushed but wearing a perfect smile.

As Jeremy launches into a description of the first time he tried to teach me to play football at age five, I reflect on the poetry of this moment. I met Damon at Katherine's eighteenth, and now I will farewell him at my own. For that's what I know I have to do; I can't be around him anymore. He messes with my head, he drives me crazy, he mixes me up and I can't be like this any longer. As much as I wish I could be a selfless person, it hurts me too much to watch him with Andie. I'll find another job, and I'll stop hanging around with Katherine and her friends. I can't let myself fall apart every time he's near and I can't expect him to keep walking on eggshells around me.

It has to stop.

Comforted by my resolve, I listen to Katherine talk. She shares a story from the time we went to Disneyland with Jenna when I was ten, and she mentions the infamous fettuccine incident of '06. She talks about how she taught me to read and how we would watch a movie every Saturday night with our father, and I would beg to watch _The Lion King_ every week without fail. It's the first time I've ever heard Katherine talk about him so casually, as she rarely mentions him at all, but she continues on like she didn't even notice.

"I'm not good with heartfelt, emotional speeches – that's a strength Elena possesses, not me. But while we're on the subject of strength, I think Elena has more of it than anyone else I know. She has endured so much for her eighteen years and has come out on the other side stronger than ever, more compassionate than ever, more selfless and loving and pure than ever. So I'm in awe of you, midge, because despite being the younger sister, your strength carried me through all the hard stuff along the way. I love you, Elena. Happy birthday."

I wrap my arms around her tightly. She's not normally one for affectionate displays in public, but we hide our tears in each other's shoulders for a moment.

"You're strong enough to want to forgive _her_," Katherine whispers. "I'm not, not right now. But I saw it in your eyes; if you want to try, that's fine with me, okay?"

"I love you, Kat," I reply tearfully, and we break apart, laughing slightly at our tearstained cheeks and silently thanking god for waterproof mascara.

The party resumes and slices of the chocolate mudcake are passed out on blue paper plates. Immediately my mind wanders to a certain pair of eyes, and apparently fate and I are on the same page, because _he_ grabs my hand and quickly drags me to the corner. I can see Katherine chewing on her lip worriedly but I shake my head, trying to reassure both her and myself that I'll be okay.

* * *

**A bit of a cliffhanger, maybe... The second part of Elena's night will be uploaded by the end of the week. In the meantime, what do you think Damon wants to talk about? And what do you think of Elena's resolve to cut him out of her life completely? Feel free to leave me your thoughts in a review! ~ Kim**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: It's a big chapter ahead; I don't want to keep you guys waiting any longer; thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

* * *

**_Elena's birthday, continued…_**

"Happy birthday." His words force me to look at him, and his eyes are not their usual blend of fire, mystery and passion, no; they are open and honest and pleading.

"Thanks," I tell him, unsure of his motives.

"Just hear me out, okay?"

I fully intend to refuse, but his expression stops me in my tracks. I give a reluctant sigh and motion for him to continue.

"Katherine was so insistent that I wouldn't get to talk to you; I- I'm not quite sure where to start," he half-laughs at his awkwardness.

"Start at the beginning?"

"The beginning? That would have to be the very day I met you, Elena."

I have no idea what he's talking about, so I wait for him to continue. He takes a deep breath.

"The first time I met you, at your sister's birthday, you won me completely over. You were so innocent and sweet and endearing and completely unaware of how beautiful you were. But you were thirteen."

"I don't understand?"

"The second time I met you," he continues, ignoring me, "you were at Fells' for your job interview, and you couldn't remember the passcode."

"You remember that?" I ask, incredulously.

"Of course I do. You were there in your perfectly ironed white shirt and pencil skirt dressed up like you were meeting the president, and I'll be damned if it wasn't the most adorable thing I'd seen. But you weren't thirteen anymore."

"Damon," I say softly, still confused.

"That night, I so eagerly offered to take you home, wanting more time with you. But that was the flashing light for Kat, because the next day, when I saw her, she laid into me and told me you were completely off-limits. You were her sister, she said; you were too young, too eager to believe and too ready to fall. She knew me too well, she knew that I had the capacity to hurt you if I wasn't serious; she didn't want me playing games with her baby sister's mind. I knew she was right."

Butterflies are playing football in my stomach and my heart's taking a vacation in my throat. Am I hallucinating? Is this some sort of cruel, awful dream?

"When I started dating Andie, she was on my wavelength. Being with her made sense to everyone else, so I let myself believe it too. But that didn't stop me from thinking about you, talking to you whenever I could; I talked about some of the most painful parts of my past for the first time in years with you, and it all felt right. I felt guilty for flaunting Andie in front of you that day, but that was backwards, right? I should have felt guilty for baring my soul to a girl who wasn't my girlfriend. I wish I'd understood it then; it would have saved so much time."

I shake my head, fighting to conjure words in my mouth, ready to beg him to stop.

"When you broke up with Matt, and you were upset, I didn't know what to do. I was in so much pain because you were hurting, but I told myself that I'd feel that way about any of my friends having their hearts broken. I told myself I felt protective of you because you were my friend's little sister and that was normal."

I take a deep breath, trying to steel myself to speak, to stop him.

"It wasn't," he says bluntly.

"Damon, I-"

"And then we went to your lakehouse. I convinced you to drive up with me and we flirted over chocolate ice cream. I held you while you slept and tried to ignore the feeling that I belonged there, that I never wanted to let you go. And we were playing that _stupid_ game and you were beautiful and drunk and exuding confidence and I wanted you to know what I felt, even though I hadn't come to terms with it myself. It was wrong of me, but it was the truth – you were on my mind constantly despite the fact I was with somebody else. When I saw the way you reacted, I knew I'd gone too far. And when I saw _him _touch you, all I knew was blind fury."

"Stop," I plead.

"Katherine and I fought about it the next day. She was furious; she said that I'd hurt you, that I'd messed with you even when I'd stayed away. She told me that you had feelings for me but I wasn't to act on them until you were in a better place, after all that _I'd_ caused, and I wasn't to act on them until I'd ended things with Andie."

"Katherine knew?" I breathe incredulously. "I never told her."

"But I ignored what she said and cornered you anyway, and you said all those things I'd dreamed about you saying, but it just wasn't the time or place. Both of us needed to get our shit together before we could revisit that. Katherine heard our conversation, and she refused to speak to me until I broke up with Andie, because she didn't want to watch me hurt both her sister and her friend anymore. So, a month later, I did, and it was long overdue. I never should have started with Andie in the first place. Not when I was in love with you the whole time."

Everything stops. The world shatters. My heart stops beating. I've been dreaming of him saying those words for years; there's not even a remote possibility that this could be happening. I can't believe it. I am numb.

"I confessed to Katherine and she said to give you time, to make sure I was serious, to see if I still felt the same way. I waited until recently before I approached her again, but she's still afraid I'll hurt you. She cares about you; she wants to protect you, and god knows that in the time we've known each other I've proved time and time again that you need to be protected from me. For me to pursue you would be selfish, Elena, but you know what? I'm going to do it anyway, because I _am_ that selfish."

He grabs my shaking hands in his and gazes steadily into my eyes.

"I love you, Elena Gilbert, and I've been a complete idiot for the whole time I've loved you, but I hope you can forgive me. Please, just give me a chance. I don't deserve it, but I _need_ it."

At some point I've started crying, because the tears are cascading down my cheeks for the second time in thirty minutes. I'm still rendered speechless, so I answer him the only way I can.

I slowly take my hands from his, placing them on his cheeks and pulling him into a searing kiss. He responds instantly, winding his strong arms around my waist as I slide my hands down to his shoulders and stretch up on my toes to kiss him harder. Every nerve in my body is alight; everywhere he touches, my skin burns. My lips part and he deepens the kiss, and the combination of adrenaline, alcohol and his intoxicating scent has me soaring.

After what seems like hours, we part and I blush furiously, hiding my face against his chest.

"Don't be embarrassed," he murmurs softly into my hair.

"What is everybody going to think?"

"They're going to think that you're _super_ lucky to be kissing _such_ a gorgeous guy." I look up to be greeted with his usual smirk and playfully smack his shoulder, leaning in to kiss him again, slower, more lovingly this time.

"Jesus, you two!" Caroline exclaims from nearby, and I jump back, startled. "Get a room, would you?"

"Like you can talk," I scowl, my eyes narrowing on her smeared lip-gloss and she blushes; Caroline Forbes actually _blushes_.

I turn back to Damon, unable to stop smiling and gazing at him, committing to memory what it felt like with his lips on mine, with my hands in his soft black hair, with his hands on my waist stroking circles with his thumbs.

"This is your party, Elena," he says softly. "Go celebrate. We'll have all the time in the world, later."

I shiver slightly at the promise of _later_ and give him a few more lingering kisses before Caroline drags me away to dance.

* * *

Much later, the party is dwindling to a close. Almost everyone has left, and the last twenty minutes have been a whirl of goodbyes for me. I collapse onto a couch in exhaustion.

"Hey, midge," Katherine says, walking up with a stack of presents to add to the pile by the door and taking a seat beside me. "How was your night?"

"Amazing," I breathe, my eyes lighting up.

We sit in silence for a moment, before we both speak at the same time.

"It's okay, Kat."

"Look, Elena…"

We both laugh, rolling our eyes, and she tries again.

"I'm sorry if you feel like I was trying to keep you and Damon apart. You're my baby sister; it's my job to protect you. I care so much about the both of you, and if anything, I wanted you guys to work out in the end, so I just tried my best to ensure nobody got hurt in the process."

"So you're okay with it?"

"I couldn't be happier." Katherine gives me a hug before she waves a wary-looking Damon over to us.

"Everything alright?" He asks, slipping an arm around my waist and pressing a chaste kiss to my lips.

"Everything's fine," I smile up at him adoringly.

"Just one thing, Damon," Katherine smirks, her most intimidating expression on her face. "You're one of my best friends, but in the absence of our dad, I need to warn you that if you hurt Elena, you'll have me to answer to. Got it?"

Damon playfully salutes her and she shakes her head ruefully before leaving us alone.

"My place?" He murmurs softly, his hot breath on my ear causing me to shudder and lean into him, my eyelashes fluttering shut. I nod, lost in my delirium that is _him_ and happiness and tequila.

We take a cab back to the boarding house. It's not the first time I've been there, having accompanied Caroline once or twice, but I still find myself looking around, discovering more about the intriguing old mansion.

Damon hands me a glass of water and we sit on the sofa in the parlor; I stretch out and he pulls my feet into his lap and absently starts rubbing them. We talk for god knows how long about god knows what, just getting used to the feeling of being together, of being one on one like this.

At some point we start kissing again, languidly at first, slowed by the gradually waning alcohol and the tiredness fogging our minds, but it quickly increases in pace. I pull myself up to straddle his lap and he turns his attention to my neck, just below my ear. I can't hold back a moan, bringing his lips back to mine.

In a flash, he stands and lifts me with him, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist to stop myself from falling. I feel my back collide with a wall and my eyes fly open; somehow we've made it upstairs and I'm pressed against his door.

"I've never been in your room before," I breathe between kisses.

We fall onto his bed, entwined, and I've never felt so exhilarated as his hands glide up and down my body. He rids himself of his shirt and I press open-mouthed kisses against his chest while his fingers wrap in my hair, which has long since fallen out of its carefully-constructed style.

I sit up to pull off my dress, leaving myself in a matching set of cream cotton undergarments. My heart is pounding wildly and the blood rushes through my ears as I lie back, pulling him on top of me for a passionate kiss. His left hand ghosts from my shoulder down the side of my ribcage to my hipbone.

"God, Elena; you're so beautiful."

My eyes fill with tears involuntarily and worry invades his reverent expression. I reach for the zip of his pants but he stops me, his blue eyes wide and anxious.

"What's wrong?"

"I… I don't really know… what I'm doing." I laugh slightly, out of embarrassment, swiping at my eyes impatiently with the back of my hand. "I'm a virgin."

His expression softens and he leans in to kiss me again.

"It's okay," he whispers. "Not tonight."

"No, I want to-" I protest, but he cuts me off.

"Not tonight, beautiful," he repeats, giving me one final peck before he passes me his discarded shirt. "Put this on."

I slip it on and button it up, reveling in his scent. He tenderly brushes away the remnants of the tears I shed.

"Do you want to sleep here?"

"Yeah, I'll just text Jenna to let her know where I am."

He's silent for a moment until I'm done typing out a message to my aunt, setting the phone carefully on the nightstand beside me. I can feel the pleasant tingle of his eyes on me as I do so, and turn to meet his gaze with a shy smile.

"How long?" He demands, and I blink at him in confusion.

"What?"

"How long have you felt this way about me?" His tone softens as he reaches to push a stray bit of hair from my face and I unconsciously lean into his touch.

"I'm not sure, but it's been coming on for a long time. I'm not sure when it changed from an infatuation to something more concrete and real, but I'm glad it did."

He seems to think about this and nods slightly to himself before asking another question.

"Why?"

"Because you make me smile and laugh when I'm at my lowest; because I can trust you with my deepest secrets, and I can trust you to protect me; because when I'm with you I can forget about everything and be myself and know that I belong; because you make me feel alive."

I cup his face in my hands and look straight into his eyes, searching for doubt but finding only the love he has for me there. "Because you're my best friend and I can't imagine not loving you."

His lips are on mine again and it's passionate, deep; he bites my bottom lip softly and I smile against him, slipping my tongue into his mouth to tangle with his until he pulls away. He presses one last kiss to my forehead before lying down and pulling me with him as I giggle blissfully.

Lying in his embrace feels warm and safe and loving, just like I remember it from that night at the lakehouse. I can't believe how rapidly everything changed – I was planning to cut Damon from my life entirely mere hours ago, but now I've let him into my heart and hopefully he'll stay a while.

"I'm _so_ in love with you," he murmurs sleepily.

"I love you too," I whisper back, letting him pull me in closer.

It's all so surreal. Never in my wildest dreams could I have seen myself ending tonight here, in his arms, feeling like I belonged here.

It's the most intimate I've ever been with a guy and yet it feels so natural, lying here in my underwear and his sweet-smelling shirt, my bare legs entwined with his. We've been friends for years and the trust between us is stronger than ever, and to me this just seems like the progression of our relationship from friends to lovers, like we were supposed to be together this way all along but just didn't know it yet._  
_

_Damon Salvatore is my boyfriend._

It wasn't right for the shy and scrawny thirteen-year-old at her first party, or for the heartbroken sixteen-year-old at the Grill on Labor Day, or the damaged, desperate girl from New Year's Eve.

But it is right, _right_ _now_, for me.

* * *

**I hope it was worth the wait! _Some_ people who shall remain nameless *glares at Elvire, Vanshika, and Taylor* were unintentionally putting pressure on me with their excitement for this, so I hope it lived up to expectations.  
**

**I'd like to thank Lucy for pre-reading this chapter the other night and giving me some ideas to add a little more to cover some gaps. ****And today I passed 150 reviews! You guys make me smile with every single one. Thank you so, so much. You're all amazing and I'm _so_ grateful. ~ Kim**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here I am again! I'm so grateful for the overwhelmingly positive response for the last update. Hopefully you'll all like this one, too. I'm sorry to tell you all that this is the final chapter before the epilogue, and it's unlikely that I will write a sequel. This story just started out as something little and personal that I never planned to publish, so the onslaught of reviews and notifications have been incredible, more than I ever could have hoped for, and I thank you guys for every single one.**

**This finally earns the M rating, but I can't make any promises that it's been worth the wait. I'd like to thank Lucy and Jess in particular for their work as smut consultants on this chapter, because without them and their endless patience, I wouldn't be able to write a single word. **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or its characters; all rights to their respective owners.**

* * *

_**June 2012 **_

There's something about tonight that feels different.

Damon's taking me out for dinner; that's not unusual. For our first official date, we went to the Grill for burgers, and for our second, he cooked for me at his place. No, it's not the idea of dinner that has put butterflies in the depths of my stomach.

Maybe I've spent too much time around Caroline, who for the past week has been reiterating the cliché of the third date policy. She really places too much stock in things she reads in Cosmo.

"It's the unwritten law of relationships. Sex on the third date; any later and it's not going to happen, I promise you." She then went on to give me unsolicited advice about her first time, and what I should do, and what I should expect, and though I appreciated the sentiment, I tuned out after the first five minutes of Sex 101.

I think Katherine was in on it too, because she cornered me yesterday for the same lecture. Now, she and Jenna did cover the birds and the bees talk with me when I hit thirteen, but for some reason she felt the need to go over it all again in finer detail. It took me a while before I convinced her that it was unnecessary.

So, here I am all dolled up in a loose fitting scarlet top tucked into black, high-waisted shorts with red stilettos that cross over my feet and around the ankle. It's the perfect blend of classy and seductive. Katherine straightened my long hair for me, and I'm oddly nostalgic as I'm reminded of her doing the same for the night I first met Damon.

The doorbell rings and the butterflies go wild again.

"Elena!" Ric calls.

"Coming!" I check my makeup one final time before I go downstairs, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

Damon's dressed in black, as always, his eyes as bright as ever. He gazes up at me as I descend the steps one at a time, and I'm always struck by the way he looks at me, with adoration, awe, love and lust all rolled into one. I don't think I ever could have imagined anybody looking at me the way he does.

"You look amazing," he breathes in my ear as he gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, and I blush. He's told me countless times how much he loves it when I blush.

"Have fun tonight, you two," Alaric tells us with a grin and I flush harder. Damon grabs my hand reassuringly.

"We will."

Katherine gives me a hug and a wink and then I'm in Damon's Camaro, on our way to the restaurant. Being with Damon is never uncomfortable – we tell each other everything and thus can talk about anything, or other times we remain in contented silence, holding hands or lying together on the couch as he strokes my hair.

We arrive at the restaurant, and I'm relieved to see it's not too fancy – Damon knows my taste isn't that refined. I order a simple grilled salmon dish with a side salad, and he orders the lamb wellington and steamed vegetables.

"So, how'd the chat with your mother go today?"

I called Isobel a week after my birthday to tell her that I received her letter, and she was relieved that I wasn't just going to ignore it. She wanted to talk to Katherine, who refused at the time, but I finally convinced Kat to call her today and hear her out.

"It went okay. It was still pretty tense, but Katherine ended up inviting her to the wedding."

"That's great!"

"Yeah. She said she's coming back to Mystic Falls for good this time. She's flying in two weeks before the day."

"It sounds like she's really trying to fix things."

"She is. I think she regrets not being there for some of the most important moments in our lives, so she's diving in the deep end with Katherine's wedding. She understands that she doesn't get to have a say in things now but she wants to be a part of our lives again and she told Kat she'd take anything we can give her. It's going to be tough, but it will work out."

I ask him about Stefan, because he too has decided to turn over a new leaf with his brother and repair their relationship. He realized that it wasn't Stefan's fault that his dad left, and he had to stop cutting him out because even though they didn't get along, they were still brothers. With Caroline and Stefan still going strong, he knows it's going to be less painful for all of us if they're not ignoring each other.

Our dinner arrives, and it's delicious. The salmon is perfectly cooked and the lemon chilli dressing on the salad is the most divine thing I've ever tasted, except for perhaps my boyfriend's lips.

He drives us back to his place and the nerves I'd forgotten during dinner resurface. Before we get out of the car, he gives me a long, searching look.

"What?" I say, confused.

"Nothing; it's just… I want to take you somewhere, if that's okay?"

"Of course."

"It's not far; just a short walk," he tells me as we get out of the car. It's still pleasantly warm out, even though the sun has long since set. He grabs a small bag from the back of his car and loops his arm with mine as we walk up to where the road turns into a path through the trees.

I've never been up here before, so I have no idea where Damon's taking me. It's a gentle slope up a hill, along a stone path through to a clearing.

I'm breathless as I look out over Mystic Falls – the hill we're standing on is perfectly angled to gaze down at the lights of the town and above the stars shine bright on the endless black canvas of sky.

"Oh, Damon; it's beautiful," I say softly, turning to look at him with an enchanted smile.

"I know. This is my favorite spot in the whole town." We sit down together and he takes out a bottle of wine and two glasses from the bag, passing me one of them and pouring the dark liquid into it before doing the same for himself.

He seems to be trying to find the right words for what he wants to say, so I take my drink-free hand and slip it into his, squeezing once.

"This was my mom's favorite place," he begins, and I feel a pang in my chest at the obvious emotion in his voice. "We used to come here all the time and watch the sunset and stargaze and she would drink this exact kind of wine, her favorite, until I fell asleep, and she'd carry me home. When she got sick, we didn't stop coming up here; even toward the end, I just pushed her in her wheelchair. She loved to see all the lights and the way the stars made it seem like they were reflected in the sky; she told me that when I was really little I thought we lived in a snowglobe and the stars were just the lights reflected in the glass."

My eyes fill with tears as he takes a deep breath, willing himself to go on, willing himself to keep opening up to me.

"When she died, she was cremated. We had a memorial stone in her family's plot at the cemetery, but I asked for us to scatter her ashes here, at night. I know that's what she would have wanted. I've never told anybody about this place before."

I swallow hard, trying to slow my tears. "Why did you bring me here, Damon?"

He looks at me thoughtfully. "I know my mother would have loved you. I guess this is where I feel closest to her, so I feel like I'm introducing you, or something. I don't know; I guess you're just the first person I've ever felt like sharing this part of me with."

"That's so sweet," I whisper. "Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

We sit on the side of the hill and sip our wine in silence. I want to burst with emotion over everything he's shared with me. I marvel at how I can feel so close to him, closer than ever, and we're still yet to sleep together. I feel awed and blessed to be able to share in this part of him, that he trusts me with his most personal memories.

We wander home just after midnight, and I feel a little buzzed from the wine. My tears have dried and the solemn moment has passed.

I'm ahead of him as we walk into his room, and I hear him close the door behind us as I turn to speak to him.

"Damon-"

I'm cut off as his lips meet mine, his palms on my cheeks, and as I gasp in surprise, he traces his tongue over my lips and it meets my own. His hands travel down, his right between my shoulder blades and his left at the base of my spine, and he pulls me flush against him, my fingers on his pectoral muscles. This is the most intense kiss I've ever experienced and as we part, I have to consciously refrain from begging him for more.

I'm not left wanting for long, though, as he pushes me back until I fall onto the bed, my hair fanning out around me. His eyes are dark and hungry as he advances on me, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. As he braces himself with one hand either side of me, I surprise him and flip him over so I'm on top, straddling him. By some miracle, I'm able to kiss him senseless as my fingers find the buttons of his shirt and proceed to undo them, working my way down until I can feel his skin and rippling muscles beneath my hands.

As I become aware of his arousal through his pants, he reaches up and gently puts his hands on my shoulders, holding me off.

"_Elena_," he pants. "I don't want to stop."

"Then don't," I purr seductively, unable to resist grinding myself against him a little and smirking as he lets out a deep moan.

My head spins slightly from both the wine and the sudden change in position as he rolls us over again and unbuttons my shorts, slowly pulling them down my long legs and leaving light kisses on my skin as he goes. He then pulls my top over my head, and I silently thank Caroline and Katherine for not letting me get dressed without the strapless red lace bra and matching panties I'm wearing. Damon's eyes darken with lust.

"Beautiful," he murmurs as he begins to lavish kisses on every exposed inch of skin: my neck, my collarbone, my shoulders, my stomach, my hips. When he reaches my inner thigh every part of me shudders in delight and I sit up with a groan.

My fingers feverishly attack the button of his jeans, my hair wild and messy around my face. He scrapes his teeth lightly against my jaw and neck, almost succeeding in distracting me entirely, but I manage to successfully undress him anyway.

His hand slips around to the clasp of my bra, but he hesitates slightly, toying with it. I'm desperate now, wound up and longing for some sort of release.

"Take me, Damon," I beg him, almost growling with need. "I'm yours."

It's all he needs to hear as his mouth is on mine again, and my bra is gone in two seconds flat. His fingers caress the newly exposed skin and although I thought I'd feel uncomfortable, I've never felt safer than I do with this man before me. He slips one finger in the waistband of my panties and drags them down my legs. I can sense his reluctance, knowing he's remembering New Year's Eve with Kol and worrying that he'll scare me, but I trust him; I _want_ him to touch me. I _ache_ for him to touch me.

"I'm fine," I assure him, my eyes fluttering closed in anticipation.

The first contact of his fingers with my intimate area is brutal in the most mind-blowing way. He drags his tongue across my hipbone and up my stomach; the wet skin catches the air, creating a contrast between the pleasant coolness and the heat I feel everywhere else. I sigh with pleasure as his talented fingers begin their sinful ministrations, alternating between quick, fleeting touches and slower, more torturous strokes. To tease me, he slips a finger into me, testing me, stretching me, and my throat constricts as I emit a strangled gasp of pleasure. His thumb continues to apply pressure _there_ and I'm so, so close to being catapulted into next week that my fingernails dig into his skin, almost drawing blood; and then, he stops.

"_Damon_," I groan as he pulls his hand away. He kisses me, slowly, sensually, his eyes glinting at my desperation.

"Be patient," he scolds gently, before he works his way down my neck, chest, and stomach again to settle between my thighs.

If I thought his fingers drove me crazy, his tongue sends me rocketing out of my skin. I breathe in with a sharp hiss, and my right hand grips his hair while my left hand searches for something to keep me grounded, twisting in the sheets. I attempt feebly to hold him there, to control him and that _tongue_ somehow, the tongue and lips putting pressure in all the right places, and I can feel his cocky smirk against me as I squeeze my eyes so tightly shut I see stars. It doesn't take long before I tumble over the edge, falling on and on, fireworks bursting behind my eyelids, arching my back off the bed and screaming his name.

The aftermath of my first orgasm leaves me exhilarated, my blood roaring in my ears, my breath coming in gasps, my vision spinning. I slowly open my eyes and see Damon, his eyes completely black with desire.

"You… that… I _never_ want to forget how you looked just now," he tells me, breathless.

I pull him down to kiss me again, feeling lust stir in the depths of my body again as his hands run over my bare skin. I can feel his hardness against my lower stomach and eagerly rid him of his boxers, my fingernails accidentally-on-purpose grazing him along the way.

"Are you…?" He inquires, his teeth clenched as he hovers over me.

"On the pill? Yes," I breathe, trying to guide his hands with my own to where I crave his touch most. Katherine covered birth control with me weeks ago.

"I don't want… to hurt you…"

"You won't."

"We'll take it slowly."

"I trust you," I tell him, and I've never spoken truer words in my life.

He doesn't keep me waiting any longer. Slowly, smoothly, he sinks into me.

I register a twinge of pain but before I can even react to it his lips are on mine, and I'm losing myself in the taste of him. He rolls his hips again, and the pain is lesser this time, and even less the third. Soon, all that exists in my world is his tongue in my mouth, his touch on my skin, the warm feeling building from somewhere deep inside me that I didn't know existed and the knowledge that I've given myself entirely to the only person I've ever loved.

His kisses are more passionate now as he begins to lose control. His teeth catch at my bottom lip, my fingers running through his silken hair and down his neck and muscular back; I'm trying to take in as much of him as I can while he takes me; I can't get enough.

One last stroke and I'm soaring, his name on my lips again, and surely the sight of me losing grip with reality in the wake of his lovemaking for a second time takes him with me.

"Fuck, _Elena_."

My eyes flutter open and I've landed. I'm exhausted, trembling and slowly remembering what it means to breathe as he collapses on top of me, the comforting pressure of his body doing wonders to relax me despite the light sheen of sweat covering our skin.

I can't speak for I know if I tried, all I'd manage would be incoherent babble. I've never known love like this before, scorching in its intensity, dangerous in its passion. Damon gently brushes my sweat-dampened hair off my face and kisses my forehead before rolling off me, pulling me to curl into his body and tugging the bedsheet over us.

We don't need to talk – what we have shared is worth more than any confession of love; it has built a stronger bond between us than that which can be formed with words.

I can feel that he loves me, and he can feel that I love him too.

That's enough.

That's all we need.

* * *

**I hope it wasn't too bad! I'll see you again in a few days for the final update of ****All I'll Ever Be****. Thanks for sticking with me for this long. ~ Kim**


	11. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

**_July 2013 – PRESENT DAY  
_**

The sensation of fingers on my bare skin is the first thing my half-asleep mind registers. The second is the warmth of the sun on my back and the grainy sand beneath my stomach.

I roll over and smile sleepily at Damon, who is lying on his side and tracing patterns with his fingers on me with a smirk on his face.

"You woke me up!" I complain, flinging my arm over my eyes to shield them from the sudden bright light.

"I was bored," he grins, mischievously, pulling my arm away and leaning down to kiss me.

Damon decided to surprise me this summer by whisking me away for a trip to California. We're staying at a five-star resort with a private beach and a stunning view of the crystal blue ocean, and I've never known such luxury. He didn't tell me where we were going until we boarded our flight – he's lucky he thought to bring Caroline in on the secret to pack for me, and I'm wearing a bikini of her choosing: a black and white patterned designer label set that flaunts every inch of my sun-kissed, silky skin.

Needless to say, Damon loves it.

His wandering fingers start to unravel the strings of my bikini bottoms and I giggle, half-heartedly trying to still his movements.

"_Damon_! Not now," I scold, but my voice is muffled into his lips and I lose my train of thought as he growls softly and moves to kiss behind my ear, his hot breath against my neck causing tingles to run through my whole body.

The next thing I'm aware of is the sudden absence of pressure around my hips as my boyfriend succeeds in his attempt to untie my bikini, and I squeal indignantly.

"We're in _public_, Damon!"

"There's nobody around," he murmurs, his hand running slowly down my side before lifting my right leg to wrap around his waist. The change in position means I can now feel his hard length pressing against my center, separated only by the thin fabric of his boardshorts.

"But what about the sand?" My voice is barely more than a whisper and I can feel my restraint slipping away.

"That's what the ocean is for, sweetheart," he breathes, and in a flash I've essentially torn his shorts from him and he's buried himself deep inside me.

I moan with satisfaction and he smirks, covering my mouth with his as we move together. When we're finished making love on the beach, he pulls me into the sea and we repeat the process as we rise and fall with the gentle waves, tasting salt in our passionate kisses.

Later, we're lying on the sand again, covered with a towel and glowing with blissful happiness. Mentally I tick off 'on the beach' and 'in water' on my list of sexual experiences – a list that grows ever longer and seems never-ending, thanks to his imagination and adventurousness.

However, my favorite time will always be our first: a night I remember as if it happened yesterday and a night I will always cherish for the leaps and bounds we took in both our physical and our emotional relationship. I find myself lost in the memory of it, recalling every moment so clearly it's almost as if I'm reliving it.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice breaks through the nostalgic haze in my mind and it takes me a moment to separate daydream from reality. "You look like you're a million miles away."

"I'm thinking about us."

"Mmm," he murmurs appreciatively against my ear. "Anything in particular?"

"Our third date."

He smirks. "One of my favorite memories. The image of you unraveling for the first time is imprinted on my brain for the rest of my life."

I slap him playfully for his dirty reference but it doesn't wipe the smug grin off his face.

"What are your other favorite memories?" I ask curiously.

"The first day I met you," he says simply. "You?"

I consider his question carefully before answering. "Katherine's wedding. For lots of reasons."

His face spreads into a genuine smile and my mind wanders again.

* * *

**_October 2012_**

"_ELENA!_"

I rush into the gorgeous room with the high ceilings, tripping slightly over my stiletto heels, my arms stacked with bags.

My beautiful sister is standing wide-eyed and panicked by the mirror. Her long brown curls are swept up in an elegant knot, with the odd loose tendril cascading down to her shoulders. Jenna spent two hours perfecting Katherine's makeup, right down to curling her thick eyelashes with a strange contraption that looks like a stainless steel interpretation of a medieval torture device. The dress is pure white, contrasting beautifully with her olive skin tone, and silk wraps tightly around her corseted torso before tulle layer upon layer of skirt puffs out at her hips like a princess from a Disney movie.

The Mikaelsons are a very proud and traditional family, so they've pulled out all the stops for the high society wedding of the year. We're in a beautiful seventeenth century church, where all the intricate decorations and stained glass windows have remained perfectly intact. I've peeked inside the room where the ceremony will take place, and white and red rose petals litter the aisle, leading to a beautiful wrought iron archway with brightly colored flowers woven through it. Every last detail is carefully planned down to the very last baby pink ribbon tied on each pew, and I know Jenna was relieved that Esther Mikaelson insisted on covering the costs of the lavish affair, because we never would have dreamed of anything like this.

Despite our humble upbringing, Katherine fits into this lifestyle like the central diamond fits into her extravagant engagement ring. She moves with the grace and dignity of a socialite, but she doesn't always rein in her explosive side when it comes to Elijah's mother, and for that, I think Esther admires her. Isobel calls it the 'Gilbert fire', and she says we get it from our father.

Speaking of our mother, the woman breezes in from the adjacent bathroom pulling a comb through her hair.

"Hi, Elena. Your sister is freaking out again."

"What this time?" I sigh, but Katherine can see the laughter in my eyes.

"I'm _starving_. I haven't eaten in a week to make sure I fit into this monstrosity of a dress!"

"That's your own fault," I tell her, digging through one of the bags I brought with me and pulling out a banana. "Luckily, your _amazing_ little sister and maid of honor has it covered. Also, _you_ chose this monstrosity, so you only have yourself to blame."

"Don't get that on your dress!" Isobel scolds as Katherine demolishes the fruit in two bites.

The relationship between Katherine and Isobel has been strained, but somehow we've maintained the peace in the two weeks since she came back. It seems like Isobel's really trying to make up for being such a terrible mother for the past fourteen years, and although Katherine is nowhere near forgiving and forgetting, I'm happy they've managed to remain civil.

"Where's my veil?" Katherine asks after she swallows, beginning to panic again. "Oh, god." Her eyes widen. "Shit, should I say that in a church? Crap, should I be swearing in a church?" Her voice rises in hysteria and I'm floored to see my normally sassy, collected sister in such a meltdown.

"Calm down; your veil's here!" I assure her, passing it to her. Isobel and I gently fix it on her head.

"My bouquet?"

"Right here," a voice calls from the doorway. Jenna's dressed identically to me, wearing a pale pink, one-shouldered dress with a white leather belt at the waist. The other two bridesmaids, Lexi and Rebekah, file in behind her. Rebekah and I exchange awkward glances – she's still on-again, off-again with Matt, but surprisingly enough we've both been getting along in the lead up to the wedding, as Esther insisted on having her in the ceremony.

Damon will partner me, as the best man, and Elijah's three brothers are his groomsmen. I haven't spoken much to Kol since the incident at New Year's, but Elijah told me that he's given up drinking, and that he genuinely feels remorseful about what happened.

Finally, Jeremy walks into the room, announcing that everything's ready to go. The bridesmaids pick up their bouquets; Isobel blows Kat a kiss and hurries out to get a seat; the groomsmen offer us their arms and Jeremy takes Katherine's – he's giving her away.

The music begins to play and Kol and Rebekah are first out, the blonde girl holding her head high, a disdainful look on her face. Klaus and Lexi follow, after Lexi berates him for trying to flirt with her at the final rehearsal dinner last night. Finn and Jenna are next, and Damon turns to look at me, brushing a curl out of my face.

"You look beautiful," he tells me, and I can't help returning his warm smile. "I have something I want to ask you afterwards, okay?"

It's an odd thing to say, but there's no time, because our cue in the music sounds and we're walking down to the altar. Damon shakes Elijah's hand as we get there, and we take our places either side. My eyes flicker to meet his and the intense gaze we share sends shivers down my spine.

I then watch my sister glide gracefully down the aisle, and she looks flawless, demure, radiant. She gazes at Elijah adoringly as Jeremy places her hand in his and kisses her lightly on the cheek before going to sit next to Isobel in the front row. I'm both stunned and ecstatic to see tears of joy on my mother's cheeks.

I find my eyes drawn to Damon like magnets throughout the ceremony, and they glint like he knows a secret. Before I know it, the priest is instructing Elijah to kiss Katherine, which he does with fervor, and then we're being bustled into the limousine again to be taken to the reception.

As soon as we arrive at the hall, Damon pulls me to a small loveseat in the foyer. He takes my hands in his, seeming a little anxious.

"Out with it. What did you do?" I ask suspiciously, only half-joking.

"Nothing. Well, no; that's a lie. I brought you this."

He pulls something small, metal and flat out of his pocket, but I don't get a good look at it.

"I started thinking about this when we talked about your mom moving back. I figured she'd probably want the house, and if things were too tense between you, I would have an out for you to take. But things were going okay with you two and I didn't want to push…"

"What are you talking about?"

He hands me the object, and it's a silver key.

"It's yours, even if you don't want to use it yet. I love you, Elena, and I would love nothing more than to have you live with me and wake up with you every morning, but if you're not ready to just yet, keep the key just in case."

"You want me to move in with you?"

He nods, still looking apprehensive. I bite my lip to hold back a smile and attempt to look serious, but his look of utter dejection at my hesitation stabs me with guilt.

"Of course I will, are you crazy?" I exclaim, flinging my arms around him. He scowls at me as I pull away and I smile sweetly, slipping the key on my chain and giving him a chaste kiss. "I love you too."

We walk to our table for the dinner hand in hand, and Katherine instantly takes in our expressions and fixates me with her infamous Katherine Gilbert - _Mikaelson?_ - glare.

"What aren't you telling me, midge?"

I sit beside her, smirking, and her eyes narrow further.

"You smirk just like _he_ does now; you spend far too much time together."

"You're just going to have to get used to it, unfortunately, because he asked me to move in with him."

Katherine's ear-piercing shriek is worthy of a fourteen-year-old, and she hugs me excitedly.

"Oh my god, that's amazing; I'm so happy for you!"

We chatter excitedly all through the dinner – a Thai beef salad as a starter, followed by grilled chicken with Mediterranean vegetables and crispy-skinned potatoes, and a rich chocolate and raspberry tart for desert. Speeches are made, the cake is cut, and then it's time for the newlyweds' first dance together.

The captivated guests watch them in awed silence – few of them have ever seen Kat and Elijah so intimate, as they tend to refrain from PDAs. Eventually, a few others get up to dance, and as Esther drags Rebekah up to dance with Elijah, I spot my opportunity with Kol and take her newly vacated seat.

"Hi," I begin, trying to remain calm.

"Hey," he says, not quite meeting my eyes.

"How are y-"

"I'm sorry, Elena," he blurts, cutting me off. "I'm sorry for what I did to you."

I can see the guilt in his face and I know it's sincere.

"I believe you. I can't forgive you, yet, but we're family now, and we can be polite, at the very least."

He looks happy enough with my answer. I'm not over what he did to me, but he made a mistake that nobody immediately close to him is going to forget any time soon, so I decide that's punishment enough.

He excuses himself to the bathroom and I'm found by Stefan, who pulls me up to dance to an upbeat, light-hearted number. We laugh and chat for a while, and I notice Damon watching us suspiciously from his seat, although he poorly tries to cover it by pretending to text on his phone.

"So, what's got you so willing to put yourself in the crosshairs, hmm?" I ask him, my eyes sparkling, and he rolls his eyes.

"Okay, you caught me. Fine. I just wanted to thank you for whatever you've been telling Damon."

I blink in confusion, trying to recall if I've said anything in particular recently. "What are you talking about?"

"He's been a lot more open with me lately, a lot nicer. You're good for him. Since you guys started dating, he's treated me more like a friend, like a brother. He said that being with you showed him how important it was to hold onto the people you were lucky enough to have. He said that the fact that you could forgive your mom showed him that _he_ had to be the one strong enough to forgive what happened with our family. You inspire him, Elena. And you make him happy, and you make him a better person."

My eyes have filled with tears during this speech, and Damon makes as if to stand, concerned, but I shake my head and smile softly at him over Stefan's shoulder.

"He's become a better person on his own, Stefan," I protest, but he smiles knowingly at me and bows politely as the dance finishes.

"If you'll excuse me, I should go find out where Caroline is… I think she's had one too many glasses of pink champagne."

I walk back to my seat, only to find Isobel waiting for me, twisting a pale green linen napkin nervously in her hands. _Oh dear_, I say inwardly, but I sit beside her regardless.

We sit in silence, watching Elijah and Katherine in the centre of the dance floor, heads on one another's shoulders and swaying gently.

"Has she always been like this?" Isobel wonders aloud. "From what I've seen when I visited, and what Jenna told me in between, I never would've guessed that she could be so…"

"Romantic?" I supply, and Isobel nods. "Elijah brings a soft side out in her. She loves him, and love does that; it changes us. Since she met him, the wild partying, the hatred, the danger… it's not a big part of her anymore. I think that was just a result of how alone she felt, how she had to take care of herself, and then he came along and he was the best thing that ever happened to her."

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" She asks, her blue-gray eyes wide and anxious.

"I think she already has. As long as you stay and you keep trying, it's going to get easier."

We remain silent for a moment, and I decide to just rip off the band-aid.

"Damon's asked me to move in with him."

She blinks at me, completely astonished.

"I said yes."

"Elena-"

"I know you're staying in Mystic Falls for good, and I figured you could have the house to yourself, if Jenna and Ric move out, or maybe sell it-"

"I got a job in Richmond."

Now it's my turn to stare at her in surprise. A job? That will really tie her down and test her limits of responsibility.

"It's a secretarial position for an advertising firm. I was going to get an apartment a little closer to the city, but it's still close enough to Mystic Falls for me to visit all the time. I was going to give Jenna the house… I don't want you to rush into moving out because you feel uncomfortable with me around."

"It's not about that at all! I love him, mom," I swallow hard because it's the first time I've called her that since she left us, "and I honestly didn't feel uncomfortable at all having you stay with us. He asked me to move in and I told him I would."

"Only if you're sure."

"I'm sure."

She looks thoughtful for a moment.

"You're lucky to have him, Elena."

"I know." _I know_.

I feel the arms of my savior drape around my neck, and I can't help but smile when I'm in his presence.

"Hey, you," I murmur.

"Hi, pretty girl," he smirks.

Isobel excuses herself to go and talk to Jeremy, and I'm left alone with Damon. I can't stop gazing at the smile on his face – he's happy and I feel a sense of pride to know that's partially because of me. He seems like he's enjoyed today, so I can't help thinking back to a certain conversation we had about weddings.

"Do you remember our movie night?" I ask him curiously.

"When I forced you to watch _Paranormal Activity_ and you spent the whole time hiding your face in my shoulder, even in the daylight scenes?" He grins.

"No!" I laugh. "When I was sick and we watched _27 Dresses_."

"Yeah. What about it?"

"I was wondering, because you seemed to have a lot of fun with all the wedding stuff… have you changed your mind about marriage?" I regret asking the question – Damon and I are still yet to have an explosive fight but I fear that this is a topic that could potentially induce one.

"I think that Elijah and Katherine are perfect for each other, and this is what they wanted," he begins, and my heart begins to speed up a little. Is he beginning to consider a future?

"But I can't see myself as husband material… I guess the whole idea really just doesn't appeal to me. I'm not that kind of person. Ultimately, the only things that matter in a relationship are love and trust. Who needs a certificate to prove those things?"

I'm disappointed, but I see his point. I love and trust him, and I know he would never hurt me – he'd have to face Katherine, and she can be scary if she wants to be.

_For Christ's sake, Elena_, I scold myself. _You're about to move in with the guy. What more do you want?_

The opening strains of Ed Sheeran's _Kiss Me_ begin to play, and Damon presses his mouth against my ear.

"Want to dance?"

He leads me out onto the floor, and we're the only couple dancing, as many people are too tired or have already left, and my sister and her new husband are being swarmed with people to say their final congratulations. Damon's arms pull me into him, and I rest my forehead against his, looking deep into his ice-blue eyes as we sway to the music.  
_  
Settle down with me  
Cover me up, cuddle me in  
Lie down with me  
And hold me in your arms_

_And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck_  
_I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet_  
_And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now_

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_  
_You wanna be loved_  
_You wanna be loved_  
_This feels like falling in love_  
_Falling in love_  
_We're falling in love_

I close my eyes as we kiss, losing myself in his scent and taste and the beautiful music and the feel of him holding me in his arms, like he won't ever let me go, like he's both protecting me from the hidden dangers of the world and carrying me onwards into uncertainty.

I love him.

I don't ever want him to let me go.

I will face any danger or uncertainty as long as he is by my side.

I know in this moment that what I told my mother is true: love does change us. Damon taught me to smile from the very day I met him and I taught him the power of forgiveness. We are living proof that love changes us, but most importantly, I believe that it also saves us.

It saves us even when we didn't know we needed saving.

_This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love_

* * *

**_PRESENT DAY_**

"I'm so glad everything worked out so well," Damon comments, and I nod in agreement. Katherine and Elijah had taken off to Europe immediately after the reception on their honeymoon, thus beginning Katherine's love affair with travel. Last week, they flew south to New Zealand – Elijah had some important clients to meet with for his and Klaus' publishing company and had brought Katherine along to go skiing. According to her, it's strange to be looking at snow in mid-July, but she seems to be having the time of her life, regardless.

Isobel is living in Richmond and visits every other weekend. She's currently seeing one of her coworkers; blessedly, he's her age and he seems really nice, although surprisingly a little serious. Jeremy's also found somebody: a schoolteacher named Anna. They've been seeing each other since Christmas and he really couldn't be happier. Jenna and Alaric are expecting their first child together: a son. They've been arguing over names since they found out the gender but finally agreed on, with a week until their due date, William.

Caroline and Stefan had moved to New York together shortly after we graduated to attend college there – Caroline studies interior design, and Stefan studies psychology. They travel back to Mystic Falls every holiday and long weekend to visit, and I'm glad Caroline has found somewhere where she belongs, somewhere more fast-paced and exciting than our peaceful hometown.

As for me? I spent the last year taking a writing class at the local community college. Damon convinced me to follow my dreams of becoming a published author, and although right now the only work I've had published was a short story in a local journal, I'm not planning to give up any time soon. Damon still has a year left of his teaching course but he's been volunteering twice a week at Mystic Falls Elementary and I'm sure there'll be a place there for him as soon as he graduates.

I've had enough of this trip down memory lane, so I stand up and shake the sand off me, all over Damon. He narrows his eyes at me and I giggle, running down the sand towards the water's edge as he gets up to chase me. The sea is cool and refreshing after lying in the sun for so long and I dive gracefully under as soon as I'm out far enough.

When I surface, I spot Damon standing where the water is knee-deep, his arms crossed over his chest disapprovingly.

"What's the problem?" I call out.

"It's cold!" He complains.

"You were in here before!" I slowly swim back to him, trying to keep an evil smile off my face.

"That was different. I had you to warm me up."

"You're weak, did you know that?" I tease him, and he scowls at me. "Cold-blooded, like a snake."

"You're just a freak of nature who likes the water too much."

"Freak of nature, hmm?" I question, and he nods. "Well, I'll just have to teach you to love the ocean too." With a quick sweep of my arms, I send a wave of water crashing towards him, and he's stunned as it drenches him. "Gotcha!"

"_Elena_!" He growls, but I'm already trying to move away as he runs after me.

He reaches me before I can get to safety and his strong arms curl around me, dragging me back towards the water. I shriek and struggle playfully as he dunks me, and I retaliate by pulling him under the salty waves too.

When we've finished our fighting, I wrap my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist as we bob gently with the pulse of the sea, and he's holding me close enough that I can see the drops of water glittering on his eyelashes.

I kiss him – the attraction between us is too powerful to resist. The sensation that spreads through me is warm despite the cold of the water as I open my mouth beneath his. His tongue dances with mine and the feeling is dizzying, exhilarating; I pull away and I'm breathless.

Even after more than a year together, his touch and taste are still electric. I find myself craving him when he's not near – although, thankfully, these times are few and far between since I moved in with him, and each night is spent making love and each morning waking in his embrace, and I can't get enough of it. Every night of passion in each other's arms is just as fiery and beautiful as the very first night we spent together.

Our foreheads are resting against one another and he has a strange expression in his eyes as he seems to search my own for something unspoken. It's an intense gaze, intimidating, but he doesn't offer any explanation for it.

I let go of him and slowly wade back to the shore, a little confused. As I stand on dry sand, I wring the excess water from my long hair, shaking it out like I'm in a Pantene commercial.

I watch Damon continue a half-formed sandcastle we'd been making earlier, taking handfuls of the darker, wetter sand from the shoreline to build a wall around it. He's so determined to make it perfect, because that's just how he is, that he even traces little windows in the side of the towers.

"If you're going to do that, you're going to need shells to decorate it. Oh, look!" I exclaim, spotting a pale pink conch shell half buried in the sand. "It's so pretty." I pick it up and then excitedly scan the shore, looking for more shells to add to my collection. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him slip something into the little 'door' of his castle, right by the driftwood drawbridge, but I don't think much of it.

I'm just picking up a large cream-colored cockleshell when the next words out of his mouth have me dropping everything in shock.

"Marry me."

"_What_?"

I whirl on him, expecting to see him laughing at my disbelief, but he looks serious.

"Marry me," he repeats.

"Yeah, sure," I say sarcastically. "While we're at it, why don't we have four children and a puppy, too?"

"If that's what you want," he says calmly, and I can do nothing but gape at him. "What do you think about naming our daughter after Jennifer Lawrence?"

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?" My voice rises in hysteria. "You can't mean that. You _loathe_ the idea of marriage. What kind of proposal is this anyway? Where are the flowers; the romantic gestures; the rock?" I cry, pointing at my finger for emphasis.

He observes me in my freak-out for a moment, his expression unreadable, and my eyes fill with tears. What the hell is he playing at?

He begins to pace wordlessly around the beach, staring at the ground. Still stunned speechless, and still soaked from our swim, I wait exactly where I am waiting for an explanation. He bends over for a moment, retrieving something from the ground before he stands upright and walks over to me. He places the object in my hands – it's a small white pebble, weathered by the sand and wind and warm from the sun.

"You want a rock? There you go. Whatever it takes for me to show you that I mean every word of this. Marry me, Elena. I know we're still young, but I know I want you for the rest of my life. We won't have the wedding right away; I just want you with an engagement ring on your finger to show the world that you're mine. I want to give you the promise of forever."

I'm actually sobbing now, trembling and overwhelmed with an onslaught of emotion.

"You told me you _never_ wanted to get married."

"I know, and I didn't. But then you came along and you showed me how wrong I was. I want to spend every day with you. I want to share my life with you, Elena. I want a piece of paper with our names on it that says that you belong to me, and I belong to you. Being with you made me need things I never knew I needed, and I'm telling you this now because I can't imagine going another minute without your promise to call yourself Elena Salvatore someday, in a year or two or five or more. I'm _so_ in love with you; I will _never_ stop loving you."

I'm sure I've melted into a puddle on the hot sand, fighting to find words to answer the man I'm hopelessly in love with and still not sure if I want to accept or try to talk him out of this crazy idea. His eyes are anxious, vulnerable, wide in fear; he's standing so close to me that I can see every thought, every feeling that crosses his mind.

I manage a half-laugh through my tears, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. "I love you, Damon, but a _rock_?" I toss the thing aside and step forward to embrace him, summoning up the courage to turn him down. He loves me, of that I'm sure, but he's just caught up in the romance of it all and hasn't really thought this through. He's trying to give me what I want, but I don't want to be responsible for manipulating him into something he'll regret.

He gently disentangles himself from me and gestures to the sandcastle.

"Why? Is that more of what you had in mind?"

I blink at him in confusion but when he offers no explanation, I bend down to look and see a royal blue velvet box inside the castle - maybe his proposal isn't so spontaneous, after all. Shaking slightly, I retrieve it and place it in his proffered palm, watching in wide-eyed astonishment as he kneels down on one knee. He opens it slowly, revealing a princess cut diamond, with tiny ice blue diamonds embedded along the platinum band.

I can't breathe; my mind has gone blank; my heart has stopped completely. It seems like an eternity has passed before he speaks, his voice soft and loving and warm. I can't help but smile at him, tearfully reaching down to caress his cheek.

"Elena Gilbert, will you marry me?"

* * *

**A/N: And there you have it, guys. I hope you all enjoyed reading this even half as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please take this last opportunity to leave a review and share your thoughts, feelings, and anecdotes with me; I'd love to hear them. I'd like to thank my loyal readers (to name a few: MelissaSomerhalder, Dark-Supernatural-Angel, Cherriesandapples, bellax0xchristina, superfan24, BlueBoxAngel, justbecause3, chelsaboolove, Skating-on-glass, DelenaFreak0422, alwaystakeheart, Debbie1689, and the rest - you know who you are!) who reviewed many times, chapter after chapter, and of course everybody who's taken the time to read my silly little love story. It's been an overwhelming compliment to reach 200 reviews and 100 favourites, and to see some of my favourite authors' pennames in my notifications. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.**

**I hope you like the way I chose to end this, and that it wasn't too cliché. I feel like _Kiss Me_ was very fitting for this story, not solely because of 4x07, but because when I saw Ed Sheeran live in concert a few weeks ago, he dedicated the song to 'all the people out there who are in love with their best friend'. Also, I'd like to thank Cher and Ina in particular for their input into this chapter.**

**On a slightly more bitter note, I'm glad Elena and Damon get to have their happy ending, as in reality, 'Damon' is still going strong with 'Andie' while 'Elena' lives vicariously through the story she wrote, having never gained the courage to tell 'Damon' how she feels. That's why we have fanfiction, right? But I'm so thankful to each and every one of you for sharing in my unrequited love story with me.**

**Thank you to every person who helped along the way - my pre-readers, Ina (Dreamspheres) and Nadia; my smut consultants, Lucy and Jess; my late-night listener, Cheryl (Cher Sue); my twitter cheer squad, Elvire, Vanshika, Natalia, Katarina, Sam, and Taylor; and of course, my real life Damon and Katherine for being my inspirations to write this story.**

**I'm not sure what I'll be writing next - I have quite a few stories in the planning stages as well as my unfinished ones to go back to, so please select author alert if you'd like to be notified of any of my future work. I'll be around until then, reading and beta-reading, so I'll see you when I see you.**

**Thanks again.**

**~ Kim xo**


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